Bayou Babylon Launches Today

Today I made my first post on Bayou Babylon, my new blog.

It is about something of the most dire importance: French Fry Po’Boys and the People Who Love Them.

Read it here .

To that end, this will be the last post on

Please follow me over there, if you are interested in world-shattering blogposts about po’boys and other critical information like you have come to expect from me for these past few years or so.


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I’m just not feeling it anymore. fitfordragoncon.

I am not fit. I have almost zero interest in being fit.

I also have increasingly less interest in Dragon*Con.

For one thing, it seems like there are more and more Cons popping up. Ones that are closer to my home (New Orleans, Pensacola, etc.). I also just don’t know how much I even care to ever go to another “Con” again.

This will certainly be the last year I ever go to Dragon*Con. In fact, I wouldn’t go this year if I hadn’t already paid for my hotel room in full. It is nonrefundable, of course.

Every year it seems like there’s less stuff that I give a shit about. There’s only so many times I can see the cast from Battlestar Galactica and be intrigued by whatever bullshit they have to say.

I think it is partly a generational thing. It’s not Dragon*Con’s fault. It’s mine. Like a lot of old people, I refuse to change with the times. Another way of saying that is that Dragon*Con caters to some people with terrible taste in pretty much everything.

I know it’s a horse that I’ve beat to death here, but it seems like today’s “geek” will like anything that has a dragon or a spaceship in it, regardless of how well it is written or directed.

The other day I saw a commercial for a television show called “King of the Nerds” and I was filled with despair. This “geek culture becoming pop culture” thing has gotten completely out of hand.

And I want no part of it.

To that end, I am moving to a new domain. One that, I feel, better encompasses the things I am keen to blog about.

You may have already noticed that I changed my twitter and instagram.

I have chosen a name that reflects a lot of things: my own sense of misanthropic nihilism, my disgust for most American “culture”, my enthusiasm for my hometown and Gulf Coast region in general, horror movies, etc.

That name is Bayou Babylon. On twitter, it’s now @bayoubabylon

This is a clear reference to one of my favorite books, “Hollywood Babylon” by Kenneth Anger, and the Misfits song, of course.

I realize that I will probably lose some readers in the shuffle, what precious few I still have, but to be honest, I’ve never been into blogging to get readers. If people don’t like it, it’s not for them anyway, as my cousin often says about music projects we’ve been involved in.

Point is, I feel no connection with “fitfordragoncon” anymore, so I’m changing it.

When launches, I’ll let you know, if you are interested.

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Mardi Gras King Cake Flavored Stuff: Reviews

I’ve never heard anyone say the words, “Let’s go get a Mardi Gras King Cake!” It’s just a King Cake. I honestly just put Mardi Gras on there first in a feeble effort to generate a bit more traffic. That, and it gives anyone unfamiliar with King Cakes a clue as to what this post is going to be about.

As always, I understand the irony of having a blog called “FIT for Dragon*Con” and reviewing things that, if you are trying to be fit, you have no business eating or drinking. But, I’m probably going to be changing the name of this blog pretty soon anyway, as I am not fit, and I am considering not ever going back to Dragon*Con.

I have no idea if these items are available everywhere. I figure they may be a bit confusing to folks who don’t know what a King Cake is.

“A king cake (sometimes rendered as kingcake, kings’ cake, king’s cake, or three kings cake) is a type of cake associated in a number of countries with the festival of Epiphany at the end of the Christmas season, and in other places with the pre-Lenten celebrations of Mardi Gras / Carnival.

The cake often has a small plastic baby (said to represent Baby Jesus) inside (or sometimes placed underneath), and the person who gets the piece of cake with the trinket has various privileges and obligations.”
– from the Wikipedia entry

Here, it’s traditional to have a King Cake at every Mardi Gras party. Among my friends, it is usually a guest that brings it. Then, a plastic baby is hidden inside. If you get the piece with the baby, you have to bring the King Cake next time. In olde timey times, if you got the baby (or whatever was hidden inside), you were crowned as the “Lord of Misrule” and got to be King of Carnival until Fat Tuesday, when you were sacrificed to our pagan gods. No foolin’. Nowadays, you get off easy (a little too easy, if you ask me) and just have to drop a few bucks on a King Cake.

It seems like  every year themed and seasonal stuff gets bigger and bigger, which is fine with me because I love themey and seasonal things. As I’ve said before, I just want to embrace the different times of the year and really enjoy what they have to offer. Of course, just being seasonal doesn’t make something good, as we’ll see in these reviews.

This is a picture of a King Cake that I got a few weeks ago from Battiste Bakery. It was delicious. You can pick up King Cakes from your local grocery store but, for the most part, they are not very good. A traditional King Cake is like a cinnamon roll brioche that has been made into a circle to represent… something. I know everything in Mardi Gras is symbolic of something, and I know that King Cakes are made into a ring for a reason, but I’m just gonna let you wiki that one yourself. I’m sure it is some religious reason, as every holiday seems to be some sort of religious spin on an old pagan tradition.


Most of the King Cakes that you will find at your local supermarket taste fine on the day you get them, but the next day are magically dried up and taste like a cinnamon roll that someone left out in the Sahara for 200 years. You can also get them in a variety of different flavors. In fact, the one pictured above is filled with Bananas Foster, which was a nice change from the grocery store ones that are filled with cardboard. Most of them have colored sugar on top also, not the buttercream seen here which, like the Banana goop, was a nice change from the cavity-inducing crunch of food coloring and sugar.

When selecting a King Cake, you have many options. Do you go with a cream cheese-filled thing with mystery jam slathered on the underside of it, so that your hands get good and sticky every time you touch it? Or do you go to your local bakery and get one that has the baby already inserted that is guaranteed to murder the shit out of whoever gets that piece?

But when it comes to King Cake flavored things, you really only have one choice: a chemical facsimile of a cinnamon roll…

#1. King Cake Flavored Coffee from Community Brand

20140112_125652I don’t know if King Cake is trademarked or not, and I realize that Carnival season is the same thing as Mardi Gras season, but for the life of me I can’t even begin to imagine why they didn’t just say this was “King Cake Flavored” coffee.

Community is a brand that I’ve always considered local, even though it’s from Shreveport or Baton Rouge or something. Before things like “local microbrews”, “regional” was synonymous with “local”. Like I still say Abita is local, even though it’s an hour and a half drive away, and that’s if you’re Stroker Ace.

I guess part of all that is that, for a long time, there was no genuinely local beer. Now, there’s beers in Huntsville and Birmingham, but Abita is still way closer than either of those places.

Anyway, the coffee is good. Better than I expected, actually. In general, like most dudes, I prefer my coffee “unflavored” and black. Whether it’s because of some inherited macho attitude or not, most of the time I don’t want any foolishness involved with the java. My dad once told me, “If you can drink your coffee black, you can drink coffee anywhere.” I think I was about 8 when he told me that.

As I’ve expressed in past coffee reviews, I don’t feel like a person should have to add anything to the coffee for it to taste good. If you have to add vanilla cream for your vanilla coffee to taste like vanilla, the coffee has failed miserably.

You don’t have to add anything to Scotch to make it taste like God’s peepee. You shouldn’t have to add cream to make coffee palatable. If you have to add something, then you don’t like coffee, you like Starbucks.

This Community coffee is delicious. I plan to buy numerous bags of it in preparation for the coming Mardi Gras festivities. I think you can get it in a “whole bean” version for you hippies and your French Pressinators, or you can get a ground version for auto-drip coffeemakers.

It smells really nice brewing, which is a big part of coffee’s allure. I’ll never forget Johnny Tremain being disappointed by the bitter taste of coffee, after it smelled so good to him.

The smell of this delicious stuff will make your house smell like a bakery. As it says on the package, “hints of vanilla and cinnamon”. But this is no bogus claim: this coffee does taste like a traditional King Cake. Or at least the way King Cake-flavored stuff should taste.

I give it an 8/10 something funnies. Jacks. 8/10 jacks. Two points off because there’s no booze in it, and that is definitely something that must be included in any Mardi Gras beverage, and is definitely Community’s fault.

#2. Blue Bell “Mardi Gras King Cake” ice cream

20140206_140035Here is, genuinely, an instance of someone calling a King Cake a “Mardi Gras King Cake”.

My cousin and I discussed today about whether or not these King Cake flavored items are available everywhere. The name “Mardi Gras King Cake” makes me think this ice cream is, because no one would know what the fuck a King Cake is outside of our region. But people see “Mardi Gras” and the purple lid color, and they know that this must be something people do during Mardi Gras.


I know I’ve said it before, but I’m not a big fan of the sweets. Which is weird, since I’m reviewing items that are flavored like a decadent pastry. I guess I’m not a reliable source, then, to be honest. It’s probably why I like the coffee better than anything else in this post.

Along those lines, this stuff is too sweet. It’s also kinda gritty, for some reason.

20140206_140101If I am to believe the folks at Blue Bell, King Cakes taste like sugar, dirt, birthday cake, cotton candy, and cookie dough. Because there are random balls of cookie dough mixed in there also. It really does taste like a mix of their Birthday Cake flavor and their Cotton Candy flavor, if they have one. Ok, it just tastes like cotton candy is in there somewhere.

Is it good? Yeah, it’s really good, if you like sugar and ice cream and sugary ice cream.

Does it faithfully replicate the flavor of a King Cake? Eh, maybe. Maybe the grit is supposed to recreate the experience of eating the typical supermarket, dried-out, King Cake. I would prefer more cinnamon, if it’s to remind me of a King Cake.

But for that matter, if you wanted a King Cake flavored dessert, why not just go get a King Cake?

I give this stuff a 6.5/10 plastic Jesuses. Because there aren’t any plastic Jesus babies mixed into it. And it’s too sweet. For me.

#3. King Cake Flavored Vodkas

What the hell is up with flavored vodkas these days? Things have gone completely off  the rails. Pinnacle, I’m looking at you. Settle the fuck down. Go sit in a corner and figure out where you went wrong.

Much like coffee, I don’t want my shit flavored. Unless it is seasonal and themey. Then I’m all over it.

I was aware that the flavored vodkas existed. They were on my radar. A friend of mine’s wife brings a bottle of cotton candy-flavored vodka to our Halloween party every year and guzzles it like water and, usually, knocks something over.

But it wasn’t until 2 days ago that I realized how far vodka has gone down that rabbit hole.

Have you ever tasted unflavored vodka? Good, old-fashioned, potato, vodka-flavored vodka?

As someone who was never a vodka drinker, I had not until I started hanging out with a Russian friend of mine who enjoys doing shots of it, followed by eating some sort of salty thing, like a pickled something.

Vodka does not taste good, to me. I’ve been a whiskey man since Jump Street, and haven’t really explored other liquors very much. Sure, occasionally I’ll have a rum drink by the pool, or I’ll drink some gin and tonics like W.C. Fields during Mardi Gras, but for the most part, I stick to my Southern roots and drink whiskey of some sort.

If they made a whiskey-flavored vodka, I might like that.

I have tried 3 King Cake-flavored vodkas to date, the best of which being Pinnacle’s. I realize I kinda dissed and dismissed them above, but when it comes to flavored potato liquor, they seem to know what they’re doing. I’m not gonna give it a full review though, as I don’t have any pictures of it.

Lucky Player King Cake Vodka, from France

Goddamn, France. Go back to the wine cellar, this shit is turrible. It’s also expensive as hell. At $32/bottle, this is definitely the most expensive bottle of vodka I’ve ever bought.

20140205_142552“Five Times Distilled”. They may need to distill this mess one more time.

I will say this for it: you can tell it is made with a good vodka. The other one I am going to review is Taaka, if that tells you anything.

For one thing, this stuff is 80 Proof, which makes me think that it’s not just a vodka that has a bunch of added flavor in it. It’s actually distilled to taste this way.

And this way tastes like ass.

Here’s the festive back of the bottle:

20140206_140018I guess the “excitement, essence, and love of Mardi Gras” tastes like a hobo peeing in the street, because there is some flavor in there that, as my wife said, “Really gets you in the back of the jaw and makes you go ‘aaack’.”

She also said, “This is like a Mardi Gras trick!” Like, a prank you would pull on an enemy or a friend that kinda deserved it.

So, yeah, neither of us non-vodka-drinkers like it, so take it with a grain of potato.

For both of these vodkas, I poured out a shot for me and her and we drank them down at the same time. My wife has never been one to shy away from shots, but even she could not finish her whole shot without a little coaching.

Maybe it’s because our palates are not refined enough to detect the small nuances of expensive French vodka that comes in a bottle with a cork. Or maybe this stuff just plain sucks and is way overpriced.

I give it 3/10 beads. Not even the good beads. Not good enough to show yer bewbs anyway. I do not detect any sort of traditional King Cake flavor in it at all. There’s some sort of chemical sweetness to it, but it’s not cinnamon or “King Cake Spice”, which is what I’m sure exists and is what every one of these other things uses. Do the French even eat King Cake? Maybe they just took a shot in the dark and failed. Oh well, if I could have taken a look at their douchey website before I bought it, I probably would known it wasn’t going to be good.

– Taaka Brand King Cake-Flavored Vodka

20140205_142603After a peek at Taaka’s wikipedia page (they don’t have a website) I found out that Taaka is from New Orleans (not Mother Russia!), so it makes sense that they would have a King Cake vodka.

As you can see on the bottle, this stuff is 60 Proof. This makes me think that Taaka took their regular, awful, 80 Proof vodka and mixed it with some liquified “King Cake Spice”, adding the flavor, but also lowering the alcohol content.

Though this may be the case, the taste is way better than the Lucky Player bullmess. It’s also closer to a traditional King Cake flavor. However, the tasty taste comes with an underlying aftertaste of shitty vodka. But at $8/bottle, it presents a much better value to the average reveler.

If you know anything about drink, you know that Taaka is a middleman between Aristocrat and Smirnoff. It’s not bottom shelf, but it’s not middle shelf either.

Clearly some people love it, though. When a guy I used to work with retired, I got him a handle of his favorite alcohol: Taaka vodka.

I put my bottle of King Cake Taaka Vodka in the freezer, as everything horrible tastes better cold. Not that this is horrible. I guess I should have said “everything mediocre tastes slightly good when it’s freezing cold and you can’t taste it”.

I give this stuff 5/10 beads. You might wanna show yer bewbs for it, but only if you just got them “done” and wanna show ’em off anyway.


So that’s it. I hope you enjoyed reading about King Cake-flavored seasonal Mardi Gras stuff. The moral of the story is, if you like coffee, you’re gonna like the coffee one. And if you like vodka, you might like the Taaka one. And if you like spray tans, you can have the rest of this bottle of Lucky Player because, otherwise, I’m gonna hafta trick someone into drinking it.

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Top 5 Mardi Gras Movies

Considering I haven’t posted anything here in a month, and the last post was about Christmas, I am overdue.

If we’re Instagram or Facebook buddies, you know that I am excited about Mardi Gras, or Carnival, season.

Mardi Gras is great for several reasons. Reasons that will now be listed in no order:

1. It makes our area unique.

 Granted there are a lot of things that make our area of the country unique, but Mardi Gras is definitely one of them. I also should clear the air here and say that I live in Mobile, Alabama, not New Orleans. Our two cities are “Sister Cities”, having been founded by the same French brothers and both were once the capital of French Louisiana. This will be the 311th anniversary of Mardi Gras in Mobile. The United States is only 238 years old, roughly. And while a lot of people here have a bad attitude of, “We started it, but New Orleans gets all the credit/hype/etc.!!!” I say, “Mardi Gras isn’t a competition!”
Seriously, who cares? New Orleans and Mobile have both been celebrating Mardi Gras for hundreds of years, they are both awesome, so just relax and have fun.
That said, I have a hard time taking Mardi Gras seriously if it isn’t from Gulf Coast Louisiana or Mobile. For instance, I used to volunteer at the Carnival Museum here and someone from Saint Louis excitedly told me, “We have the 2nd biggest Mardi Gras in the United States behind New Orleans!” To which I gave a reflexive, “Pffft!”
In my defense, I felt bad about it later.
The truth is that New Orleans is  TEN TIMES the size of Mobile, so of course it’s bigger and more diverse and, generally, more of everything.
And really, Mardi Gras started with Carnival in places like Venice, Italy, so the point is moot about who started what.

I think a lot of Mobilians have a similar feeling like when you tell a friend a joke when it’s just the two of you, but then your friend tells the same joke to a crowd and gets lots of laughs. There’s too much bitterness and not enough revelry.
Moving on…

2. It’s something to look forward to after Christmas
This is a big one. I know a lot of people feel kind of weird when Christmas is over because there aren’t any holidays until Memorial Day or something, but here we get out of work and school for Lundi Gras (Fat Monday) and Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday). A lot of people leave their Christmas trees up and then decorate them with Mardi Gras junk. We don’t, but a lot of people do. In areas like around here, with a high Catholic population, I’m sure there is something to do to celebrate before Lent starts. A way to get it all out of your system before it’s time to fast.

3. It brings the whole city together
This is more true in New Orleans than here, to be honest. Here, we still have a lot of typical Alabama people, who are probably fundamentalists, who hate Mardi Gras. Still, there’s nothing like drinking with a bunch of people with whom you have nothing in common but the desire to have fun and celebrate Mardi Gras. Last year I bought a round of mint juleps for a band of hobos that were playing music outside my favorite bar.
Mardi Gras, contrary to popular belief, is not about flashing boobs or drunk college kids. It’s about family and friends and being together. Sure, that’s not what it’s about to a lot of people, but I can’t help but feel like it’s a lot more than just those things.

I always remember the times when my mom would dress us up in crazy costumes and take us downtown to catch the Fat Tuesday parades (and catch candy).

I’ll also never forget being in Disney World and seeing a parade and being really disappointed that they didn’t throw anything. I was like, “This is it?!?!?!!” Being a kid, parades meant fun, chaos, and catching stuff, so I had just assumed that, this being Disney World and all, that I would catch some primo loot.

Every year, I’m excited about Mardi Gras, and in the days from January 6th (Twelfth Night, the official beginning of Carnival) to whenever the parades and revelry really start, I am in full-on Mardi Gras mode. Listening to my Mardi Gras playlist everywhere I go, hanging my Mardi Gras flag out on the front of my house, eating King Cake, and generally getting “geared up” for the holiday and festivities.

Just like at Christmas, I want to watch movies and tv shows about Mardi Gras. The problem is that there aren’t a lot of things like that.

In my hunt for things to watch, I have googled “Movies About Mardi Gras” about a zillion times, and every time it seems like there aren’t any good lists out there, or the lists contain movies that I’ve seen about a million times. So I have compiled my top 5 favorite movies to watch to get pumped about Mardi Gras. Granted, some of these are kind of downers, exposing the sides of Mardi Gras that most people would rather not think about, but I like them.

Unlike most of the time, I am going to put them in order, from 5th being “A Must-Watch, but not as imperative as the others”, to number 1 being, “If I don’t watch this at least once, it’s not Mardi Gras”.

Here we go….

#5. Mardi Gras: Made in China (2005)

This is a documentary about globalization, and about how the beads we enjoy at Mardi Gras are made in sweatshops. Not a cheery, partytime, thought, I know, but this documentary really shines a light on what the “true cost” of American excess is.
The problem, I feel, is that this documentary demonizes Mardi Gras, when the exact same film could be made about almost anything we all use on a day-to-day basis. No doubt that is part of the point, but if this had been made about Air Jordans or smartphones, I can’t help but think it might not be as popular. I don’t know if it’s a thing anymore, but I remember hearing about people being shot for their sneakers back in the day.
I am assuming the filmmaker chose Mardi Gras beads because they are a symbol of ““the apex of American bacchanalian excess” (LA Times).

#4 Abbott & Costello Go to Mars (1953)

This one was on a lot of the Mardi Gras Movie lists online that I found, but I had never seen it. From reading those lists, I knew it was a movie that I had to see.

The plot is like a lot of Abbott and Costello movies: they bumble their way to success as Lou Costello goofs everything up and Bud Abbott straight-mans their way out of trouble.

Through some typical cartoon-worthy way, A&C inadvertently steal a rocketship that is, presumably, on its way to Mars. Instead of Mars, they land in the bayou outside New Orleans… during Mardi Gras. The city is in Mardi Gras mode, and the revelers are so weird to A&C that they think they are on Mars. Eventually, they realize they aren’t on Mars and they get back in the rocketship, along with two escaped convicts, and travel to Venus.

That’s really all the plot summary you need, because for our purposes here, it’s the Mardi Gras scenes we’re after.

What makes the scenes in this movie so valuable is that it depicts a Mardi Gras that has since vanished. For me, one of the most interesting parts is the revelers’ use of confetti.

Why? Confetti has been banned from Mardi Gras for years. I asked my uncle why it was banned and he said that everyone used to run around and throw confetti in the air all the time. Sometimes in people’s faces.

Also, the drains downtown run straight into the bay, so the city has gotten more stringent about litter downtown, though an interesting documentary could probably be made about the effects of tons of beads running into the bay.

In “Abbott & Costello Go to Mars”, everyone is constantly throwing confetti in the air. And everyone is dressed up with giant papier mache  heads on, which is the main reason A&C think they are on Mars.

Check it out: abbott and costello go to mars 5abbott and costello go to mars 4

Here is a close-up shot of Costello (Orville in the film) talking to a “Martian”:

abbott and costello go to mars 3

You also get some shots of some old-school Mardi Gras floats. I wish there were more shots like these, I would love to see a Mardi Gras parade from 1953:

abbott and costello go to mars 1 abbott and costello go to mars 2I’m sure this was some wild stuff to audiences back in 1953. This was probably before a lot of people had televisions. I love seeing old footage and photos of Mardi Gras pre-television because the crowds are so dense. I’ve talked with older people who were around back then and they all say, “You didn’t miss a parade, back then.” I blame television.

#3. By Invitation Only (2006)

This short documentary is about New Orleans Mardi Gras Societies. To be more specific than that, it’s about the really old Mardi Gras Societies.

And, to be even more specific than that, it’s about how these really old (think 1800’s) Societies still exist and may be racist.

In 1991, the City of New Orleans passed  an ordinance saying that Carnival clubs cannot discriminate against anyone based on “race, color, sex, sexual orientation, national origin, ancestry, age, physical condition or disability”.

A nice gesture that may, or may not, have made any difference. The only thing that I know happened for sure is that the Mistick Krewe of Comus, the oldest Mardi Gras Society in New Orleans, quit parading.

But rather than discuss social issues here on the blog, I’ll just tell you the facts about what this movie is about:

A young lady, who is the daughter of a person who is involved in some of the old Carnival traditions, brings her boyfriend home for Mardi Gras. He is black, and therefore she is not chosen to be Queen of Carnival, something we are led to believe was her birthright. Instead, she must sit on the sidelines and watch another girl become Queen.

The King of Mardi Gras in New Orleans is Rex (Felix here in Mobile), and even though Carnival was originally about crowning a peasant as King (Lord of Misrule), it is apparent in this documentary that the families that the Kings, Queens, and Courts of Mardi Gras come out of, truly are the Kings and Queens of New Orleans Society and, probably, hold equivalent power in that city.

Anyway, I know it’s a downer, but over the years, both in New Orleans and Mobile and anywhere else that celebrates Mardi Gras, it’s the people who have really made Mardi Gras their own that make it fun. Not the bluebloods who only let 1% of the population participate in their little (boring) parties. You can order a copy of the dvd, and watch a preview, here.

#2. The Order of Myths (2008)

Yes! Finally, a documentary about Mardi Gras in Mobile!

Oh damn. It is also about how we’re all horrible racists.

Much like “By Invitation Only”, one of Mobile’s native blueblood daughters returns to her hometown to shine a light on the racism that is inherent in the old-line Carnival traditions.

I ranked this one higher because it is longer and does a better job at focusing on how complicated the issue is.

I know a few of the people highlighted in this film, and they are kind of pissed at Margaret Brown, the filmmaker, because they feel they were duped into thinking she was making, basically, a travelogue about Mobile Mardi Gras. Instead, they are all portrayed as racists at best, and KKK members at worst.

Still, the camera doesn’t lie and these old pre-Civil War traditions do not die easily.

Like in “By Invitation Only”, it is emphasized that it is less about race, and more about family and social and economic class. And in the end, we’re talking about private clubs here, so they can do what they want, no matter how boring the old-line Carnival stuff is.

I also ranked this one a bit higher because it shows some of the fun of Mardi Gras. It’s not all a downer, as you can take what you want from the film and from Mardi Gras. In the end, it’s a free show, a street party, and an excuse to celebrate with your friends and family.

To quote one of the main characters in the film, “You know, uh, there’s a good spirit. It developed into a fun time. I mean, ah, you can make something bad out of anything. I mean, the spirit of Mardi Gras is Fun.”

order of myths 1 order of myths 2 order of myths 3 order of myths 4

#1 All On a Mardi Gras Day (2008)

all on a mardi gras day 1This is, to me, the best Mardi Gras movie because it’s the most fun! Sure, there are some bummer moments, like when they talk about how Claiborne Street is now the home of the I-10 overpass, but for the most part, this short documentary is very positive.

It also shows how the black community in New Orleans, excluded from participating in events like those shown in “By Invitation Only”, took Mardi Gras and made it their own.

There’s something very punk about that, and I feel like it’s something I can identify with, even though I’m on the outside here, just as much as I am with the King Rex and Felix Society types.

You also get to see a side of Mardi Gras that a lot of people don’t get to see. A side that is so far removed from “Boobs on Bourbon” that it may as well be a completely different holiday.

Here in Mobile, there are very few Mardi Gras Indians, and there are no “Skull and Bone” groups or “Baby Doll” groups. The few Mardi Gras Indians that do exist here, I have never even seen in person.

all on a mardi gras day 2all on a mardi gras day 3all on a mardi gras day 4A Skeleton Group

You can order this film from amazon here.


So those are my top five movies to watch for Mardi Gras. I know some of them are not that fun, and downright depressing, but I’ve always felt there was a sad side to the revelry. It’s Folly chasing Death because we would rather not think about the depressing sides to life.

In this case, Death has just as much room on the float as Folly.

order of myths

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Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol

Have you been out and about lately? Maybe doing some Christmas shopping? Or out to dinner?

Maybe you just got home from commuting back and forth to work?

In case you haven’t noticed, the world is a horrible place. Why? Because people suck. All of them. In fact, I often feel like the world would be much better if some apocalypse did happen and wiped us all out.

We’re savages. A point that has been made countless times, but bears repeating, is that we’re all selfish assholes, throwing dung at all the other selfish assholes to achieve some end that may, or may not, be known to even us.

If you’ve driven anywhere in the past 20 years, you know this already. The anonymity of the modern vehicle allows people to act the way they naturally are because they don’t have any fear of social consequences.

Last night, my wife was taking that Personality Test that is so popular on facebook right now. She wanted to ask me the questions, so I said, “Skip to the end, mine is ‘Nihilistic Misanthrope’.”

Turns out, I’m a “Dreamer Idealist”.

Because, as I’ve said a thousand times to my friends, I don’t hate humanity because we are awful. I hate us because we are incredible beings, capable of achieving limitless heights of greatness on this earth, but yet we choose to be the worst things ever created.

People starve every day, in our own neighborhoods and cities, but yet we blow our money on 3D televisions and living the most decadent lifestyle that we can afford. Notice I use the pronoun “we” here, as I am indicting myself just as much as my fellow man.

Or, like our eternal friend Mister Scrooge, we horde it for ourselves. Whatever makes us happy.

“Mankind should have been my business!!!!” – Jacob Marley’s doomed soul.

Why do we love Charles Dickens’s masterpiece “A Christmas Carol”?
Why is it a perennial holiday favorite? I, personally, own at least four different versions of it. My favorites being Muppet, Mickey, and Magoo. The George C. Scott one is great, too.

I believe it is because we all identify with Ebeneezer Scrooge. While watching, or reading, any version of this classic tale, I often wonder what the bluebloods of the world think about it.

We are all selfish and miserly.

But, like Scrooge, we all think we can change. It’s that hope that we can all become some sort of benevolent force of good that makes us love it. None of us are “Mr. Scrooge as redeemed at the end”, but we are all Mr. Scrooge at the beginning. Granted, most of us don’t have the means that Scrooge has, just to go throwing our material wealth around willy-nilly, but think about the wealth and means that we do have. We could all volunteer our time and, for the most part, able bodies to affect some change in the world. To make it a little less horrible and, by proxy, give humanity a little bit of redemption.

It’s the story arc, the classic Darth Vader tale of a good person turned evil by an evil world, but redeemed despite it all.

Plus, “A Christmas Carol” is, in Dickens’s own words, “A Ghost Story of Christmas”. And we all love ghosts and Christmas.


“Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol” is the first Christmas Special. This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate.

Take that in for a minute. I’ve never lived in a world without Christmas Specials. Rankin/Bass was already churning out the hits by the time I had any concept of Santa Claus or “Silent Night”.

I can’t imagine what it would have been like to have been a kid in 1962. No Rudolph every year. No Heat Miser.

For a kid in 1962, Mr. Magoo must have hit like an atom bomb.

For those who don’t know, Mr. Magoo, the title character, is an old man who is blind, which is a strange protagonist for a cartoon. Most, if not all, of the gags revolve around him being blind and refusing to acknowledge it. Sort of a Don Quixote situation, except Magoo isn’t mentally disturbed, just stubborn.

Mistaking fire hydrants for lovely ladies, accidentally crossing a street in heavy traffic, going into one place and thinking it is another, are all classic Mr. Magoo tropes. He stumbles and bumbles his way to success, like a Barney Fife or Ernest P. Worrell.

In 1962, Magoo was an already-established character, and the audience would have been familiar with his schtick.

That said, without doing any research whatsoever and going on my own intuition, I get the impression that this version of “A Christmas Carol” may have been intended as Magoo’s triumphant return to television. After a little research, I know that it was the animation studio’s last-ditch effort to save their business. It failed to do that, but succeeded in becoming a holiday classic, despite most kids these days having no clue who Mr. Magoo is, or his contributions to television.

Before we get started sho’ nuff, I wanted to say a couple things about this special.

1. Its complete running time is about 52 minutes. That means that in 1962, kids got 52 minutes of show and 8 minutes of commercials. The full feature is on the dvd, which I am currently using for this review, so if you notice a scene that you don’t recognize, it’s because television people are greedy Scrooges.

2. VeggieMacabre requested that I do this. Blame him if you hate it, but I must thank him for the idea and for getting me to revisit this almost-forgotten classic.

3. I love animation from the 60’s. These days, it’s all about computers and making things look as real as possible. In “Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol” there is still a touch of whimsy, like you might see in the best Disney stuff from pre-Pixar. It is all hand-drawn, and it all looks great. This is the kind of stuff that made me want to draw comics when I was a kid, and even though I still can’t draw really great, it makes me remember that things don’t have to look great to look good or be good. You don’t have to be Jimi Hendrix on the guitar to write a great song.

On with the show… as always, you can click on the pics to make them big as Christmas.

magoo 0The show starts out in New York City, with the short intro serving as a frame story of Magoo is back-back-back on Broadway. I have no idea when he was first on Broadway, but Magoo is delighted to be back, but the Moog is also old and blind and probably senile. In fact, seen from that angle, this whole thing could just be some feverish Old Man Dream, while the Moog himself lies dying in a nursing home in Des Moines.

magoo 1Apparently these people are famous Broadway folk. They wrote the songs, which is the main difference between the Goob’s Christmas Carol and other versions; there are original Broadway-style songs smattered throughout and, believe it or not, are actually tolerable, if occasionally bordering on the stupid.

Still, it makes you wonder if Magoo’s Christmas Carol was seen by anyone at Disney in the early 1990’s.

magoo 2This is what the city of New York looked like in 1962. This is before Ghoulie Julie “cleaned up” the joint.

magoo 3I have no clue what the layout of Manhattan is. I’ve been there twice and the whole time I had no clue where I was. All I know is 42nd Street was home to all the grindhouse theaters in the 70’s. Maybe the Goob is heading to catch a peepshow before he hits the stage.

magoo 4Magoo is old and he drives an old car. What kind of car is this? Ford Speedbuggy? Chevrolet Dragula? I like that goose horn on the side. That way everyone will know to get out of this blind asshole’s way. Magoo is a perfect example of why old people should have to re-take their Driver’s License test. There’s no way Magoo should be driving. You’d think a rich star like him could at least afford a cab.

magoo 5Got in a wreck? No problem for Magoo! He hops out and keeps singing, without missing a beat! A consummate professional.

magoo 6Magoo’s first name is Quincy, so there’s that. I hear once he got out of showbiz for good, at the spry old age of two thousand, he opened a chain of reasonably-priced family steakhouses.

magoo 7Quincy walks right by the front entrance to the theatre, and reads the sign here that says, “Stanley’s Restaurant” as “Stage Door Right” and goes into the restaurant! LOL blindness.

magoo 8“Here I am!” Quincy tells the Director (not pictured). He also tells him that, even though he’s late, Magoo has never missed a curtain yet!

magoo 9I really like how the theatre looks. Everything is purple and red. This frame story, of the theatre and Magoo getting there, is cut completely out if you catch this one on television. The audience is ready to see Quincy play the part of Scrooge.

magoo 10The play opens with Magooge counting his money. Something about the natural way Quincy does that makes me think he may be a stingy miser in real life.

magoo 11Jacob Marley. Dead as a doornail these seven years now. Look at that mug! He’s scary looking already! And as the scariest ghost of the entire tale, when I saw this for the first time, I hafta admit I got a little nervous.

magoo 12These fellas come by looking for a handout from Scrooge. You know the story. It’s weird, but I hafta wonder if these guys have no clue who Scrooge is. In other versions of the tale, including the book, we’re led to believe that Scrooge is fairly notorious in the jolly ol’ town of London. Surely someone could have told them not to waste their time with this old cheap bastard. Although they don’t know that Marley is dead, so maybe they’re from somewhere else.

It really doesn’t matter, as this scene’s purpose is just to show how much of a dick Scrooge is, even at Christmas.

magoo 13Here’s Cratchit, trying to warm himself with a candle. In his crazy blue room.

magoo 14Magoo takes this opportunity to sing a song about how much he loves money. It’s the kind of song you might sing while you make coffee, “Doo doo doo… making coffee…. doobie doobie dooooo…” I do that, anyway.

magoo 15This shot here made me think of the final scene in Slaughter High, where Marty, played by poor, doomed, Simon Scuddamore, looks right into the camera and peels a bit of his own face off.

I know that’s not really Christmas-y of me. Still, that image jacked up my dreams in 1986, so it stuck with me. And Magoo looks just like it here.

magoo 16Cratchit wants a piece of coal to warm himself, but Magoo is having none of it.

magoo 17That turns the song into a duet about money, from two perspectives. Here we have a good split-screen shot comparing the blueblood misers with all the money, to the hardworking  proletariat who has nothing. Not even a lump of coal. Ya gotta think a good guy like Cratchit, with all his million kids at home, would have tried to find better employment somewhere. Maybe he’s a masochist. Cratchit’s wearing a ball gag at home in bed, is what I’m saying.

magoo 18“CRATCHIT!!! Get your ass in here!”

magoo 19Scrooge: “Go lock this chest of money up and if you touch a haypenny of it, I’ll stick a knife in your belly and walk around you!”

Bob: “Yessir, Mister Scrooge!”

magoo 20Scrooge: “And you goddam kids get the hell off my stoop! Humbug!”

magoo 21Cratchit: “It’s time for my nightly beating, Mr. Scrooge!”

I knew it. Pervert.

magoo 22Scrooge: “You’ll hafta beat yourself tonight, Cratchit! I told Jacob Marley I’d be home in time to be haunted! Bah humbug!”

Seriously though, this is the first time he says “Bah, humbug!” in the show.

magoo 23Scrooge: “What’s this? Maybe I need spectacles?”

This is a running gag throughout Magoo’s Christmas Carol, a nod to his usual blind antics.

magoo 24I like this shot. A ghost in the fireplace.

magoo 25Scrooge: “Son of a bitch! I think I do need spectacles!”

magoo 26Marley: “Here I’m is!”

magoo 27Marley: “AAAAAaaaaaaaaagh!!!!”

People shouting is scary. If I was in Scrooge’s shoes at this point, I think I would lose my mind with fright. Instead, he’s like, “Nah, I don’t really want any more ghosts tonight, thank you.”

magoo 28Scrooge: “Don’t hurt me!”

I haven’t really mentioned it, but the dialogue in Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol is almost word-for-word from the book. This may not seem like a big deal, but it means that they didn’t dumb it down for the kids, an example followed by the Muppets in their fantastic version of the tale. I can really respect that.

magoo 29Scrooge: “Who’s making all that racket? In my bedroom? In the middle of the night?”

magoo 30Ghost of Christmas Present: “It’s me! Pink Santa Flintstone in my bathrobe!”

Yeah, for some reason, Present goes first in this version. And he’s the same shade of pink all over. And he looks like a Flintstone.

And while we’re at it, let me get something straight: the lifespan of Christmas Present is 24 hours. What about Past? Future? I guess they are eternal, which means Present gets a huge shaft up his hollyhole.

I guess Past is a kid, Present is a man, and Future is death. I’ve seen tons of versions of this story, and Past is many times the creepiest one, while Present is the most fun. I guess that’s a little metaphor for us: if we live in the present, it’s fun. If we live in the past, it’s sad. And if we think too much about the future, it’s scary.

So live in the here and now with Santa Claus.

magoo 31Scrooge: “Soooo, you’re just going to skip Past? I thought Past was supposed to come first? You’re not supposed to be here until 1am! I LOVE MONEY!”

magoo 32Present: “Is this sumbitch for real?”

It goes without saying, but he really does cut his eyes at the audience for a minute right here with an incredulous look. He can’t believe someone as stupid as Magoo is as rich as he is. Welcome to the real world, Santa Ghost.

magoo 33Our first shot of Tiny Tim, who looks vaguely like a little hamburger.

magoo 34Tiny Tim is thankful for the little bit the Cratchits have. He tells them all about how God is gonna bless every one of them.

Then he sings a crazy song about how someday they’ll have the stuff they want. This puts a little too much pressure on Bob, don’t ya think? As the sole breadwinner, Bob shoulda wrapped it up. So maybe it’s his own fault. Him and his Dom, having too much kinky unprotected sex. Tiny Tim is probably gimped up from some weird STD that Mrs. Cratchit got in an orgy down Whitechapel way.

Don’t look at me like that. They’re the perverts, not me.

magoo 35Tiny Tim (singing): “One day we’ll have a Christmas fire hazard of our very own!”

magoo 36Tiny Tim (still singing): “And I’ll decorate it with jelly doughnuts!”

magoo 37Tiny Tim (yep): “Then we’ll hang out stockings up and put jelly doughnuts in those, too!”

Gross. You nasty little bastard.

magoo 38Scrooge: “SPIRIT!!!! What the hell is he talking about?”

magoo 39Haunted by his own words, Scrooge breaks down. “If he’s gonna die, then he’d better do it, and leave all the jelly doughnuts to me, BWA HAH HA HA!”

magoo 40End of Act I or II.

magoo 41The curtain opens on the next segment with Scrooge in bed, snoozing away. The theatre audience has been put on their toes by Magoo’s deviation from the usual order of Christmas Tense Ghosts. Will they skip to Future? Maybe go back and pick up the Past? Perhaps Magoo will throw them a curveball and trot out the Ghost of Christmas Past Participle? Who knows what to expect when the Present can leapfrog over the Past??? How’s a man supposed to live in the Present when he has no memory of how much his Past sucked donkey balls?

magoo 42Ghost of Christmas Past: “Behold! It’s me! Ghost of Christmas Past and Childish Lispy Voices! I have this branch!”

magoo 43Scrooge: “Go away, spook! I’m trying to sleep!”

magoo 44Ghost of Christmas Past: “Come with me, Scrooge! We’re gonna visit the Past! I have opened this window, so if you don’t come, you’ll get the Consumption!”

magoo 45Scrooge reluctantly agrees to a Disney ride over Merry Old England, where people just live in castles in the middle of the city. Seriously, check that pic out. I wonder if whoever drew this has ever actually been to London. I have not. Therefore, I choose to now believe there are castles right in the middle of the city.

magoo 46This is a good shot, Scrooge as a ghost with the Ghost of Christmas Past traveling through a psychedelic whirlpool into Scrooge’s past.

A famous line from the Ghost is when Scrooge asks it, “Long past?” and it answers, “No, your past!” Which makes me wonder why the Ghost doesn’t just look like a younger Scrooge, if he is the Ghost of Scrooge’s past.

magoo 47Scrooge is on the streets when he was a boy, and he couldn’t be happier about it. He “Merry Christmas”-es every single person walking by, even though the Ghost tells him that they can’t see or hear him. I think it would be hard not to want to interact with your old friends. I’d probably try anyway, too.

magoo 48Past: “Do you recognize that little boy in the corner?”
Scrooge: “Of course! It’s Young Ebeneezer Scrooge!”

magoo 49Young Ebeneezer Scrooge sings a sad song about being alone in the world. I like how this tree looks. And the brush strokes as clouds.

magoo 50Young Scrooge draws a hand for himself to shake. And a family that has left him alone at the boarding school for the holidays.

magoo 51Young Ebeneezer: “I’m all alone in the world…”

magoo 52Magoo remembers the pain of being left alone for Christmas, while all his pals went home. At first he claims to have not minded being solitary, but during the song he breaks down and cries and tries to comfort his young self. It really is a heartbreaking scene, and it reminds us that Scrooge wasn’t always this way. It was an evil, unfair world that crushed his young spirit. But like I said, it’s the fact that Scrooge can still be redeemed, in spite of having his soul pulverized by the fates, that we can all identify with and cheer for.

magoo 53Past: “Come on, Scrooge, it’s time to go! Quit crying like a bitch!”

Check out that look on Past’s face. Past don’t give a fizz.

magoo 54Past: “Do you know this place?”

Scrooge: “Why, it’s old Fezziwig’s!!! This is where I first was apprenticed in the art of professional misering and skinflinting!!!”

magoo 55Scrooge: “Dick Wilkins! Why, it’s Dick Wilkins! We were very close!”

magoo 56Scrooge: “Very attached to me was, was Dick! Very attached!”

I know I’m a 12-year-old, but I couldn’t help but laugh when he said that.

magoo 57Fezziwig’s business is decked out for the annual Christmas party. The point of bringing Scrooge to Fezziwig’s is, of course, to show Scrooge that there is another way to conduct business. To show him that you can have compassion for your fellow man, yet still make a profit.

magoo 58Everyone has a good time at Fezziwig’s Christmas Party! In every version I’ve seen, anyway. There may be a German version out there where Scrooge is taken to a factory and shown how much fun it is to not have a sense of humor, but I haven’t seen it.

magoo 59Another staple in every version I’ve seen is some really good fiddlin’. You’ll also notice that all the fiddlers in these shows are old. That’s because that’s how long it takes to get good at fiddle. This guy probably started taking lessons when he was 2.

magoo 60Not only does Scrooge get to see one of his role models, Fezziwig, but he also gets to see the girl he once loved: Belle. In some versions, the Fezziwig party is the first time he has met Belle. In Magoob’s version, Belle turns down several suitors before settling on the one that looks the most like a cave troll.

magoo 61He was very attached to me was, was Dick.

magoo 62The break-up scene. At least they have the decency to do it in private. Belle doesn’t understand the pressures of modern London society. Scrooge is doing all this money-making for their benefit, but she sees it like he’s replaced her with money, as the thing he loves most. You can tell Scrooge here is trying to explain to her the way the real world is, but all she can think about is how he doesn’t pay enough attention to her.

magoo 63Then she sings a song, like everyone else in this show. The song is about how love is like the seasons: when it’s new, it’s like Spring…

magoo 64Then, after a while, it starts to wane. Like Fall, the life starts to go out of it and the spark begins to go out. As a guy who has been married for a long time, I can say with some certainty that this metaphor is spot-on.

magoo 65I love this shot. I like how the ice looks. As for the metaphor, the love in their relationship has grown cold and has died like the leaves on the tree. If Belle has stuck around, she’d know that Spring comes again after Winter, but she figured she could get a better deal elsewhere. Let her go, Scrooge. Look where you are now. Rich! And where is Belle? Probably dead of diphtheria or some other olde-timey English ailment.

magoo 66Scrooge: “Please Spirit! Please! Please tell me Belle is dead in a gutter somewhere! Triflin’-ass bitch! Heart-breakin’, love-takin’, skeezer! Please!!!!”

magoo 67As a horror fan, I’ve always liked Future the best. Even when I was a kid I found him to be thrilling. For one thing, he’s almost always portrayed as the Grim Reaper because, let’s face it, that is the only future any and all of us have. One day there will be a Christmas that we’re not here for.

magoo 68Future also never talks. I can respect that. I don’t talk to strangers either. Even though, as a person who has an increasingly-unpopular blog, I “talk” to strangers every day, I feel like everything is best left unsaid.

magoo 69BRR-ZAP!!!!

magoo 70Scrooge is kind of an idiot in this scene. In every version. He’s like, “Whose death are they talking about? And where am I? I’m always here at this time of day! And why do you look like the Grim Reaper, Spirit?”

magoo 71This guy is doing a little snuff, which is something I’ve seen in several versions of “A Christmas Carol”. I’m always amazed at how many dumbasses don’t know what it is they are tooting up, and assume it’s cocaine. That seems like a safe assumption in Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol, don’t ya think? That some characters are getting capped out, right out there on the street?

magoo 72The next scene has always been one of my least favorite, in any Chrstmas Carol incarnation. I’m sure as a kid I didn’t understand exactly what was going on here, so it was boring, but I still almost always think the Pawn Shop scene is boring and drags down the pace of the film.

magoo 73One thing Magoober does, to try and spice it up and make it clear that what these people are doing is wrong, is to make the people at the Pawn Shop classic villains. They all look like they could be the antagonist on a lost episode of Scooby Doo.

In case you are unfamiliar with the story, as soon as this unknown person, who is obviously Old Ebeneezer Scrooge, died, these looters came into his house and swiped his stuff and are now selling it. In some versions, one of the three people is his maid. You’d think he’d put 1-and-1 together and recognize his maid and his own bedclothes. Maybe like a lot of us, he’s being willfully ignorant and ignoring the fact that it could be him that is dead and looted.

magoo 74The monsters all have a good laugh at the dead person’s expense when little Molly Mushroom there in the middle wants to sell his draws.

magoo 75Then they sing a song about it. About how they’re despicable people. The way the song is worded makes it sound like they’re singing about humanity as a whole, though, which is kind of interesting.

magoo 76This is the owner of the Pawn Shop. I guess he’s a pirate.

magoo 77Scrooge: “Spirit! Is there no compassion linked with death in this horrible world???”

magoo 78Tiny Tim is dead. Finally. Finally our family shame is gone.

magoo 79Better go ahead and chuck that crutch and stool in the fire. Otherwise, someone might find out.

magoo 80Big finale! Time for Scrooge to come face-to-face with the reality he has been ignoring for the past five minutes! Blow that pic up real big and check it out. In fact, the next few are really good.

magoo 81Whose lonely grave is this?

magoo 82Why, yours, Ebeneezer! The richest man in the cemetery, BWA HA HA!!!!

magoo 83Scrooge: “Please, Spirit! Please tell me I’ll never die!!!”

magoo 84Scrooge: “Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me alone!”

magoo 85Scrooge then does a reprise of his hit song from earlier about being alone, while the “camera” pans around the graveyard, reminding us all that, in death, we are all finally alone and don’t have to put up with any more of humanity’s shenanigans.

magoo 86This camera zooms out to show the audience and this elaborately put-together theatre set.

magoo 87End of Act II or III. Next up is Scrooge’s Redemption and the fun part!

magoo 88Scrooge: “Merry Christmas, world! Merry Christmas to you, young man down there by the cart!”

magoo 89It’s a horse. Because Quincy Magoo is blind as a bat.

magoo 90Scrooge: “Now, let me see what I’ve got in my old pocketbook here…”

magoo 91A moth flies out! Is Scrooge broke?

magoo 92Then he pulls out a giant sack of money! Not only is Scrooge wealthy, he’s magic! Maybe he made his money in Vegas and money-counting is just a humorous pastime for him.

magoo 93Scrooge: “Take this giant pterodactyl to Bob Cratchit’s house, that old pervert!”

magoo 94Scrooge: “Stupid knocker. As soon as I get a little time I’m taking this sumbitch down. How can I go on living when any minute Marley’s ghost might appear on it?”

magoo 95Scrooge: “Merry Christmas, everybody!”

magoo 96Scrooge: “Here’s some money for the po’ folks! Maybe this will take a link or two off my chain!”

Charity Guys: “?????”

magoo 97Bob: “Look what I got us kids! Because I work for a living, I got us this big-ass bird to eat!”

magoo 98Scrooge: “Cratchit!!!! How dare you take credit for my generous gift of a roasted ostrich???”

magoo 99Scrooge: “Just kiddin’, miggyfiggy! Merry Christmas! I’m giving you a raise!”

magoo 100Ha! Look at Bob’s wreath!!!! It’s like a branch from a Christmas Tree! HAHAHAHA! They are poor.

magoo 101Scrooge buys them a Christmas Tree of their very own!

magoo 102Tiny Tim takes a ride on the Ebeneezer Express!

magoo 103Tiny Tim: “God Bless Us, every one!!!”

magoo 104Tiny Tim: “Jelly doughnuts!!!!! My lifelong dream fulfilled! Om nom nom nom nom!!!!!”

magoo 105This is a cool stained-glass looking shot of the star on top of their new Christmas Tree.

magoo 106…and we get a reprise of the song about Razzleberry Dressing, whatever the hell that is.

magoo 107At least it looks like no one has walked out yet. I don’t really know why they didn’t bother coloring everything differently and just hit everything with the purple brush. I assume it is because of budget constraints. It’s interesting now, to me, because it looks cool now, but back then it was probably strictly for financial, rather than aesthetic, reasons.

magoo 108The cast takes a bow. Where’s Future? He doesn’t get to take a bow? Just because he doesn’t have any lines doesn’t mean he didn’t play his part with deft and nuance!!! Maybe one of these people played both parts. Typical cheapskate Magoo studio with their dual roles and half-ass backgrounds!

magoo 109Magoo bows the wrong way because he is blind. I have to wonder how Magoo made such a long career as a one-trick pony.

magoo 110Magoo: “You hear that applause?!?!?!?! I really brought the house down!!!!”

hyuck yuck yuck.

And that’s really it. It cuts to the credits and we’re left assuming that Quincy Magoo’s turn on Broadway as Scrooge was a massive hit.

To wrap it all up, like Bob Cratchit should have done: there are certainly better versions of “A Christmas Carol” out there. I prefer Muppet or Mickey’s, personally. But, Magoo did it on television first, so that deserves plenty of recognition. And I can only guess how weird it was to have a cartoon be in the style of a Broadway musical in 1962. Nowadays we don’t bat an eye when cartoons start singing and dancing for no reason, but other than the greatness of Bugs Bunny’s “What’s Opera, Doc?”, I can’t really think of a pre-1962 cartoon musical. Not in this style, anyway.

I hope you enjoyed my breakdown of Mr Magoo’s take on the Dickens classic and, like I said, if you didn’t like it, blame yourself for reading the whole thing first, but then blame VeggieMacabre. He made me do it.

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