I Have Made a Video!

Posted on September 20, 2012 by bayoubabylon

Dudes.

I have been up almost 24 hours.

Most of which was spent working on this video because my computer noobery knows no bounds.

I have probably already shared this with you on facebook. I’m that proud of myself. But also disgusted with myself that I couldn’t produce this ultra-simple video any faster than my new record time of 3 fucking days.

Jesus.
I’m dying here.

Despite my imminent death from extreme sleepiness, I thought I would post this new technological wonder of the 20th century.

It says this in the descripton, but here goes:

Ever since I first got this album, every time I hear this song I think of The Neverending Story. Specifically, that badass black wolf beast. Gmork. Or Gamork. Or Harold. Whatever you want to call him.

I’ve loved this movie since I first saw it as a kid, and I am still frightened by Harold. Therefore, he makes the perfect star for a scary black metal video.

The song is “Your True Enemy” by Nachtmystium, off of their album “Assassins: Black Meddle Part 1”.

I don’t own the rights to anything in the world.

Watch all the way to the end, and turn that shit the fuck up.

this post’s text has been edited for clarity after some much needed rest.

Posted in About Me, About Media, General dorky shit | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Top 10 Outfits in Season 1 of the X-Files

Posted on September 14, 2012 by bayoubabylon

Only 349 Days Until Dragon*Con 2013…

After we all came home from Dragon*Con, the Ancient Mystic Order of Dragon*Con Revelry (the AMODR’s) stayed in touch. During a conversation about X-Files, and particularly our thoughts on Gillian Anderson’s spacey panel, it was pointed out that, while some of the outfits and dialogue were kinda dated (for example: a friend of mine mentioned that a lot of things in the show would have been different if Mulder and Scully had had cell phones. Which is, of course, very true), the show had held up fairly well.

Now that I have finished re-watching season 1, I thought it would be fun to do a top 10 of my personal favorite outfits in the show.

While mostly I wanted to focus on Scully and Mulder, some of the truly great fashion statements are made by costars, guest stars, and other random people whom you never see again.

What follows is the top ten, coupled with various other screenshots that I took for posterity’s sake.

10. the ever-present Scully Pantsuit

the first look at Scully

This is the very first time we see Scully in the show. She’s arriving at FBI headquarters in order to receive her new assignment: spy on Mulder and basically debunk the X-Files work. As we all know now, and probably knew even then, this part of her job didn’t exactly go as planned.

This plaid pantsuit (I think that is what this type of outfit is called) is fairly representative of what she wears throughout season 1. That is what makes it number 10, as opposed to number 4 or whatever. Its omnipresence is what makes it unremarkable, despite being so early 90’s it makes MC Hammer seem downright prescient.

Sure, the pantsuit changes colors and patterns, but eventually I got tired of taking screenshots of all of them, so you get this one, and you can imaginize the rest.

09. The Eves.

come play with us and our red Talking Heads suits. forever and ever and ever…

Whoever put these weird-looking little twins in these oversized fireman suits was on some shit. Red is the color of passion and violence, and these two menacing misanthropes are seconds away from poisoning their creator. Well, sort of. If you haven’t seen the episode, then you are missing out on two good outfits right here.

The reason they are not higher on the list is because I don’t think they chose these outfits. They were put in them, the way kids are put into their cute clothes. Anyway, they look like Screamin’ Jay Hawkins in Mystery Train.

08. Mulder in full-on Joan Jett workemout gear

Joan Jett!!!!

You’ve heard me mention Joan Jett before. It’s my nickname for a woman who goes to the JFZ and wears almost exactly what the Mul has on here. If Mulder had on legwarmers and a headband, he could have come straight out of 20 Minute Workout.  I seriously need to get a crewneck sweatshirt and cut the sleeves off about 2 inches from the shoulder.

It was really hard to catch Mulder in something besides classic shirts, ties, and blazers, but here we get a candid look at his fitnessing program. Look out, ladies.

7.5. Holy shit! Are we in Twin Peaks???

Hawk!

07. Grunge steps out!

Seth “Grunge” Green

I wish I could have gotten a full body shot of Seth Green doing his impression of Seattle in the 90’s. Here we have it: raggly-ass goatee, purple plaid flannel hoodie, shoulder length Pearl Jam, henley shirt, and an army jacket. Not seen: jeans with holes, suede skater sneakers (like Duffs or Airwalks or something).

Seth Green and his pot-smoking girlfriend snuck into a military base to just get high and “watch the air show”.

Let me get this straight… a stoner dude, on a scooter, with his stoner girlfriend, snuck onto a restricted military base to get high and watch UFO’s? This sunuvabitch is exxxtreme! In fact, I think he says that.

06. The telekinetic woman in almost every scene she is in. Episode 5: Shadows

Telekinetic woman and other woman.

repeat offender.

The first picture is really just about the other woman. For one thing, telekinetic woman is seen here wearing a flower print dress. Like Scully with the Gayfer’s pantsuits, the flower print dress is constantly popping up in the first season. Eventually I started ignoring them. The other woman’s bowtie thing is pretty awesome though, especially coupled with that deep woods pentecostal hairdo. She is clearly the Heavy in this scene. Therefore telekinetic woman is forced to Professor X some hot coffee all over her! Ha!

In the second picture, she has on a vest with embroidered sailing boats on it. Also, high booty pants.

Telekinetic woman isn’t a bad guy, she just can’t control her powers sometimes. A bad guy would not wear an embroidered vest like that, which I’m sure is why the costume department put her in it. Vests pop up all the time in season 1, mostly on women, and they are awesome.

I know I kinda snuck two entries into one here, but if you want to stick to the rules, you can go hang out with that guy who said I shouldn’t eat bananas. You can also scour the entire 24 episodes of season 1 yourself and make your own top ten. I’ll read it.

05. Scully’s jacket parka thing.

Jackets!

Everyone I knew had a jacket like this. Triply bright colors, can zip up past your head for some reason, and is meant for some sort of snow activity. In the early 90’s, that probably would have been skiing and snorting cocaine, at the same time. Why? Because a lot of people confuse early 90’s stuff with 80’s stuff, that’s why.

She also has on furry boots and her pants tucked in. Nice.

04.5. You know you’re in the outdoors when this guy shows up…

mountain man

This is more of a haircut shot than a outfit shot, but this dude is clearly ready for outdoor adventure. My indoorsmanship bars me from ever having a haircut like this. Plus I have no desire to be Snake Plissken.

04. Random target of ol’ Toomy…

watch out! Toomy lookin atcha!

Tooms, a recurring character in the show, is stalking this broad. Maybe if she didn’t wear such ultra-loud skirtsuits (?) while everyone else is wearing black and white, she wouldn’t have a problem.

This may be the most early-90’s outfit that I found in the first season… and it’s on a no-name character we never see again! The turquoise skirt with the purple coat would have come straight from the local department store’s “Miss” section, stylish but sassy. It also could have stepped right out of a Color Me Badd music video.

03. Scary Lawyer Cross-Examining the Fox

scary lawyer.

This lawyer came to play today, folks.

No collar means no funny business, mister.

But check out that hair. The hair makes it. It’s like a mullet and a mohawk and a flock of seagulls all mixed together. There’s just something about this lawyer that really intimidates me. I think something about her facial structure reminds me of the softball chicks at my high school who could totally have kicked my ass at any given moment. This lawyer could definitely put away a meatball sub and then go hit homeruns.

02. Roland’s care giver. Episode 22.

clown outfit.

jungle outfit.

This woman got completely screwed by the costuming department. Every time she shows up, she has on some kind of crazy patterned silk thing, each more outlandish than the last! I really would like to know what they were going for with this character’s fashion decisions. Maybe that she is friendly and outgoing? Who knows. But her outfits are louder than a match in a fireworks store. And she looks like Sally Struthers (it’s not her, I checked).

Drum roll please….

aaaaand my favorite outfit of Season 1 of the X-Files is:

1. Scully in a leather vest and high booty jeans

Yes!!!!!

It’s so nice to see Scully chilling at a kid’s birthday party with a woman in a flower print maternity dress! Gone are the various pantsuits! The severe hairdos! The business purse/satchel thing!

In their place, to accentuate that Scully is ready to party 2nd-grader style, are a leather vest, black mom jeans, and a casio calculator watch.

Scully, you look good dressed down, instead of looking like a 50-year-old female version of Ichabod Crane.
******************************************************************************************************************************************

So that’s it.

Maybe you disagree? Please share your discontent.

Here are various other contenders for the top ten, which didn’t make it. What do they call that?

Oh yeah, honorable mentions:

a vest and a one piece speedsuit.

multi-layered ladycop! nice belt!

anglo as fuck. The Scotland Yard woman.

check out that bow!!!!

Scully looks ready to teach fingerpainting to 2 year olds.

That’s it! Hope you enjoyed it!

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Diary of an Ex- Cobra Viper

Posted on September 13, 2012 by bayoubabylon

Here is the announcement that was announced yesterday:

I have started a new blog centered around a diary, and other items, that I recently found in my attic.

Apparently, these various articles, from a possible former resident of our home, belonged to an individual that was a member of Cobra. Yes, that Cobra.

VIPER MEMORIES [click here]

Spoiler Alert: (highlight the hidden invisible ink text to read)

I came up with this idea a couple years ago while watching some GI Joe. The thought process went something like this: “We know Duke (GI Joe himself), Scarlett, Gung Ho, Cobra Commander, Destro, etc. We know their stories. But when it shows the big battles, it shows hundreds of guys on both sides, shooting it out. Where did these guys come from? They’re humans too, they have stories. They had to have just joined up with either GI Joe or Cobra as an enlisted man.” I thought the story of why a normal human being would enlist in Cobra was way more interesting than the story of why a guy would join GI Joe.

I originally wanted to do it as a comic, but it would take forever and only like 5 of my friends would see it. In blog form, it reaches a lot of people quickly and easily.

Also, I want to very clear: this is the last time I will ever openly admit that the journal is not real. It is also the last time I will acknowledge that there is a show called “GI Joe” that details the struggles between these two organizations.

Enjoy it, and share it with your friends, please.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank any and all co-conspirators who have brainstormed and laughed with me while formulating what the final product of this new endeavor would be about and would include.

logo for the Cobras

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Halloween: Full Speed Ahead

Posted on September 12, 2012 by bayoubabylon

Only 351 Days Until Dragon*Con 2013!!!

Before I go full-bore into Halloween, I have a couple Dragon*Con announcements, which you can also find on the official Dragon*Con site. But since I know that there is at least one person who comes here and never goes to dragoncon.org, I will write them anyway.

1. You only have two more days to purchase your 2013 D*C membership for the dirt cheap price of $65 for the whole weekend. After that, it goes up to the still-low price of $75. This makes fiscal sense if you’re planning to go, or if you’re like me and have just become aware that you have roped yourself into going by having a blog that is somewhat centered around Dragon*Con. As in, it’s right in the flippin title.

2. The Hilton is already sold out for next year. Unbelievable. The Marriott opens up reservations at 0900EST on October 10th. I plan on being in front of my computer and on the phone at 0759 local time. If you remember from last year, the Marriott sold out their Dragon*Con rooms very quickly, so good luck to everyone, including me.

************************************************************************************************************************************

With that out of the way,

Only 49 Days Until Halloween 2012!!!!!!!!!

That is much closer than Dragon*Con. And they are very similar. It’s a chance for all you badass cosplayers out there to show up at your local bar and win a costume contest (or come to my party and win a killer trophy. your choice). There’s nothing quite like showing up to your local watering hole’s costume contest in your homemade Lefty Frizzell costume, only to discover an 8-foot-tall, fully operational, Iron Man cosplayer. Time to drown your sorrows, Lefty. That teetotalling cosplayer, who only shows up at the bar once a year to ruin your night, will be taking home your precious ribbon tonight.

Am I jumping the gun on Halloween? Like Cracker Barrel when they put out their Christmas stuff in August?

No. And there are two reasons why I feel this way. Plus I love a good old-fashioned two item list.

1. Dinosaur fucking Dracula. For several years now, this guy, Dinosaur Dracula, has been dictating to me when the Halloween season begins. Not the stupid calendar. The calendar doesn’t know shit. Am I saying that Dinosaur Dracula is smarter than a calendar? Possibly even more astute than time itself??? Well, put it this way, if it’s a Far Side wall calendar, yes. If it’s a Far Side desk calendar, with a new joke every day, no.

Regardless, I know I am not alone in feeling that the Dino Drac has jumpstarted my Halloween, whether I was ready or not.

2. Cooler weather! It actually got into the 60’s the other night! That is a miracle for down here. Anything below a thousand degrees before October is like finding an extra pack of gum in your stocking after you thought it was already empty. And yes, that is a Christmas reference, just to keep all you “He’s jumping the gun!” people in check as to how far I am actually willing to leap over that gun.

Is this an Indian Fall? Is that an offensive term? I don’t know. But I know that when I was in college and it would get into the 60’s, all the people who had been dying to bust out their fall/winter wardrobe would come out at night in scarves and sweaters, sweating it up for the sake of fashion. Unfortunately, it was (and is) still perfectly comfortable to wear shorts and flippity flops. It’s just that. Comfortable. Not mind-numbing, soul-burning, infernus ad infernum.

So Damn the Torpedoes, full speed ahead!

If you haven’t been here in awhile, you will notice my new Halloween-y look! I put the same pic that is my background here as the “cover photo” for the ffdc facebook page. I offered prizes for a correct guess at what it is from, but had no takers. Therefore I say again: anyone who knows what this screenshot is from, gets a prize! Here’s a hint: it’s from the intro to a movie.

There is a lot to like about Halloween. For one thing, on a personal note, I can get the wife to watch horror movies with me. Real ones, not “Full Moon High” or “Saturday the 14th”.

Also, bloggers everywhere come out of hibernation and go completely batshit crazy, which means that some of my favorite blogs get really active.

But really, one of my favorite things about Halloween is that once a year, for a little over a month or so, everyone is either into horror/macabre-related stuff, or even better: they are having it shoved in their face whether they like it or not.

I just really like going into my local store and seeing these normal, everyday joes trying to decide between a ladle shaped like a skeleton hand, or one shaped like a skull. Or talking excitedly about whether they want to be a wizard or a pirate for Halloween.

But what is even better, for me, is seeing the people who openly dislike Halloween having to walk around their local Target with a look of distaste on their face. Everything that is normal, to them, is suddenly covered with bones, blood, and orange and black. It is a wonderful feeling to see the people who are normally in charge around here (fundamentalist rednecks) be forced to take a backseat for a month while darkness, horror, and my own brand of nihilism take the wheel.

With that in mind, I’d like to show you a couple of my recent scores that, I feel, reflect this:

Skeleton hand oven mitt!!!

Here is a photo of my hand in my new skeleton oven mitt! For a fella who occasionally enjoys cooking, this oven mitt makes everything I cook totally heavy metal (“Who’s for heavy metal quiches?!?!?!?!”). As a bonus, it looks like the Misfits gloves, but it’s an oven mitt, so I can picture Danzig cooking up some pumpkin and bat-shaped cookies for the band.

These mitts were on display at my local World Market, and I literally saw a woman with the “Fundy Bob” hairdo walk by them and give them a snarling look of hate and disgust. Sold!!!!

Halloween Cheese Toolery

This is a spooky cheese tool set, accompanied by some hard cheese my wife brought home from Scandinavia. Totally something, like the oven glove, that I will use all year… but only on special occasions. I mean, normally my Halloween gear consists of plastic cups with bones drawn on them and paper pumpkin lanterns. These are silver! Or at least some sort of silver-finished metal.

Anyway, they are fancy. And the set was only $15. Now I can cut the cheese in style. (had to do it)

**********************************************************************************************************************************

I know that it being acceptable for adults to be into Halloween is a fairly recent phenomenon, but I am thankful for whatever cultural shift caused this whole thing to happen. Like the explosion of geek culture, I think it mostly can be traced to our growing culture of acceptance, and thus hedonism. If it feels good, and is fun, it’s ok to do it. And if there’s one thing that the year-round Halloween aficionado enjoys, it is blatant hedonism.

Enjoy the season, stick around ffdc for spooky fun, and visit my links for even more fun!

Tomorrow: a fairly large announcement!!!!

What is ffdc up to? For all 5 of you who read this, stay tuned until tomorrow!!!!

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Dragon*Con 2012

Posted on September 8, 2012 by bayoubabylon

Only 355 Days Until Dragon*Con 2013!!!

I realize Dragon*Con has been over for almost a week and I have not posted anything about it. If you are familiar with this blog at all, you will not be surprised. This has never been one of those “first to break the story” kind of things.

That said, I apologize for taking so long to tell the tale. I have been in recovery since then.

I made it a point of pride at Dragon*Con to be the first one up, and the last in bed, every day. And I have been playing catch-up ever since. I seriously considered the prospect that I could have contracted mono from some random dirty bird that I shared my flask with. That’s how much I have been sleeping.

Either mono, or I am suddenly a narcoleptic, which would explain waking up and not knowing that I was even asleep.

The point is that I’ve been sleeping, and not posting.

When you return from Dragon*Con, there are two questions on everyone’s lips, which I will briefly answer before I get to the part you all really came here for: the pictures.

1. How was Dragon*Con? Dragon*Con is, of course, completely awesome. It’s hard to tell people who aren’t into this sort of thing about how much fun it is. Anytime you come home from a trip, the best answer to this question is just to tell people to go see for themselves, then they will know.

2. What was your favorite part? Like a lot of people say (including Brandon in his great tumblr “Blessed Are the Geek”), everyone has their own reasons to go to Dragon*Con. Me? I party hardy all night, then go to panels during the day. My favorite part of Dragon*Con was just hanging out with my friends, and seeing friends that I haven’t seen in a long time (in a couple cases, like 10 years). My favorite panel was Stan Lee, followed closely by the Venture Brothers panel.

promo Marriott Marquis photo

I knew that staying in a host hotel would be very different from staying in an overflow hotel, but I don’t know if I was properly prepared for how different it would be. The main difference is that it is hard for me to go to bed when there are exciting things going on downstairs. So if you want to actually sleep at Dragon*Con, I would recommend the airport Hilton. If you want to party, I would recommend any of the host hotels.

I’m pretty sure that I got this photo from the Marriott’s website, but try as I might, I could never get a picture of the atrium that was even close to being as good as this one.

I guess to do this right, I should just go day by day and try to recount the events as they happened.

The Ancient Mystic Order of Dragon*Con Revelry

This is the cast that experienced all these experiences with me. We are fearsome. I took the picture.

Thursday.

We got to Atlanta after a brief layover in Auburn for lunch with an old friend (TWER, mentioned in the George Hardy post. The one who got his teef worked on). This was probably around 3:30 or so, local time.

We left the car with the valet, which always makes me super nervous even though no one is gonna hotdog it around town in an orange ’03 Honda Element. I think I’ve seen too many 80’s movies where that happens. Or at least one that left the impression of many.

Checking into the hotel was easy, and was even slightly organized. I could already tell that this Dragon*Con was gonna be different.

The elevator was, of course, completely mobbed. Our room was on the fifth floor, so we lugged our bags up the stairs. Not being fitfordragoncon bit me in the ass. Hard. Plus my bag was huge and heavy laden with bottles of booze and a radio.

Huffing and puffing, we arrived at our room. This is what we saw:

room with a view

Last year we stayed at the airport Hilton, one of the overflow hotels. The rooms at the Marriott were much smaller, and generally not as nice, but we were right in the heart of the action.

I also would like to point out that you can make most all of these pictures really big, which is helpful in the crowd shots so you can do your own people watching and pick out the costumes that you recognize.

Voltron, making his way to the bar

I think I actually took this picture Saturday or Sunday, but since it was taken from our room, I’m including it here. This picture shows two things:

1. How incredibly crowded it is on Saturday and Sunday

2. Voltron. Off to get a drink or five. You can’t tell from the picture, but that Voltron costume was amazing and appealed to my deep-rooted sense of nostalgia. I honestly could have stayed on this balcony and drank and people-watched all weekend. It was truly a great vantage point and we got to see some really good costumes and some interesting interactions between our fellow Dragon Conventioneers.

When we finally left the room, we went and got our pre-reg badges. We were nervous about this, as we have stood in line for badges for upwards of 6 hours before.

This year, we breezed through the line and received our badges in about 10 minutes!!!!! Thanks Dragon*Con, for changing things!!!

That night we met up with some local friends who were having cocktails at Trader Vic’s, a tiki bar in the basement of the Hilton (I think). It was great fun and then we went back to the Marriott to continue the party, where a friend of mine took a bite out of a bush! He just stuck his whole head in there like he was a-bobbin’ for apples! Except instead of an apple, he came up with a mouthful of shrubbery.

I don’t remember what we did after they all left. The local folk all had to work the next day.

Friday

Friday saw the arrival of our two companions for the weekend: old friends from college, neither of whom I had seen in person for about 10 years!

I think we attended a BSG panel this day, and maybe something else, but it’s hard to remember. The whole weekend has really blurred together in my mind.

I also think this was the day we went to the Stan Lee panel, which was my favorite panel of the whole weekend (which he claimed was not a panel, considering he was the only guest, but rather a “visitation”). Stan is, indeed, the Man.

I know I snapped this picture of a real, live Dalek. He was probably rather confused by all the time lords walking around, which would explain why he wasn’t exterminating everyone.

But to be serious, this is not a real dalek. It was controlled by the guy who built it, who was standing by with a remote control. It moved around, its turret spun, and it even talked! It said the “exterrrminate!” line perfectly and very loudly, and was rather frightening, truth be told. I wish the picture wasn’t so blurry.

“EXTERRRRMINATE!!!!!!!!”

In contrast with the evil dalek, I found good R2D2, who was also operated by a guy with a remote.

I told my friends that, no matter how old and jaded I am about Star Wars, or how completely disgusted I am with Lucas, it made my heart jump and a smile come to my face when R2D2 “talked” to me and spun around in a circle. Even though I knew it was just some dude with a remote controlling him, it was honestly quite magical.

“BEEPITY BOOP BEEP!!!”

Friday night our friends from out of town showed up.

We had a few drinks, they left, and we went to a “Rave party” downstairs in the Atrium Ballroom.

My companion and I walked into the party, bitched and complained about how lame techno and dj’s are, and ten minutes later were both dancing our butts off. Whatever they’re putting in them beats, they are infectious.

Saturday

On Saturday our new arrivals had to pick up their badges. So we all stood in line for fracking forever.

See, we had pre-registered, so all we had to do was flash our bar coded postcards (received in the mail months before Dragon*Con) and we got our badges. Our new friends were not so lucky. They had not pre-registered, and thus had to stand in line to pay for their badges. It took about 3 1/2 hours.

the Batman watches over the crowd while a fellow unfitfordragoncon brethren ralphs in the bushes.

We saw some great costumes this day. Saturday is always the busiest day, as the locals come out also.

I’m not the type of guy who just asks random people if I can take their picture. I just don’t have the balls to do it. Plus I assume that the people in costume would probably rather be hanging out with their friends or drinking, rather than posing for pictures.

This Beetlejuice was standing in line with us for a panel. I think it was probably Venture Brothers. Since we all weren’t doing anything anyway, I asked if I could take his picture.

Probably one of my favorite costumes. I have no idea what half the anime shit is, anyway.

shrunken head Beetlejuice

A bunch of people were taking pictures of this group of Monty Python enthusiasts, which makes it easy for shy dudes like me to snap a pic. Great job!!!!

the whole Holy Grail bunch, including the Rabbit of Caerbannog

I forgot to upload this one the other day, but it’s one of my favorites. Cobra BAT.

 

Saturday morning, while my Dragon*Con friend lay in bed getting his slumber, I attended the Dragon*Con parade.

Growing up around Mardi Gras, as a kid I was completely baffled by parades where no one throws anything. I still am. I mean, really… what’s the point?

Despite not getting any beads or moonpies, the Dragon*Con parade is pretty fun. Although I made it through about 30 minutes of it before I left. Once you’ve seen a hundred costumed folks walk by, you kinda have the gist of what it’s all about.

Cobra Commander surveys the troops with the Baroness

a cadre of doctors

Star Trek fans

Jackson “the Monarch” Publick

The Venture Brothers panel was one of my most-anticipated panels of the entire weekend. This is a photo I took when Jackson Publick stopped to answer a question from a guy at the end of my row.

My Dragon*Con companion and I were amazed at the line for the Venture Bros. panel, as two years ago all the [adult swim] stuff was in tiny rooms in the basement of one of the other hotels. This year, Venture Bros was in the Atrium Ballroom, one of the biggest rooms at the Con!

The panel was hilarious and creative, as the creators of the show made the panel to resemble a fictional 70’s Talk Show called “Let’s All Smoking!”

It inspired me enough to come home and purchase some Venture Bros dvds for viewing in the comfort of my own home. This is a lesson for any would-be Dragon*Con guests: it pays to come to the Con and put on a good panel, as I’m sure many of the people in the audience are like me and will want to continue the Dragon*Con experience at home.

That night we attended the “Dragon*Con Night at the Georgia Aquarium”:

Dragon*Con Night at the Aquarium

This is, in Disney Park terms, a “hard ticket” event. Meaning admission to the party is not included in your general Dragon*Con membership fees. But it is only like $20, and you can drink in the aquarium. It’s always fun to drink in places where you normally can’t. They also have a dj, if you want to dance. We did not. We drank and looked at sea life.

I also want to scold some of you cosplayers out there:

There is a spot in the aquarium where there is a big round porthole in the roof, that is on the bottom of one of the big tanks. It is where this picture was taken:

Sleeping Beauty, I think?

So, of course, everyone wants to get a picture right here… including me.

Friends, if you are a cosplayer who has his or her own camera crew following you around, taking pictures of you in dramatic poses with stylized grimaces on your face, that does not mean you are not subject to the laws of etiquette.

We waited for a solid 20 minutes while a camera crew took pictures of some tart in a Tomb Raider costume in all manner of poses, then stood right under the porthole gazing at their wonderful art, only to eventually exclaim, “The first one is the best!”

I realize that you are self-absorbed and oblivious, Miss Hot Cosplayer who has her own platoon of slavering camera doods, but this is your wake-up call: there was a huge line of normal people who just wanted to take 2 seconds to get a picture of themselves or their friends, and they were getting restless and whispers of “hostile takeover” ran through the crowd.

the Aquarium Wizard

But not this guy.

The word “hostile” is not in Aquarium Wizard’s vocabulary. Aquarium Wizard is just so fracking boss that I can’t stand it. I never had the nuts to speak to him, but he seemed to just be quietly enjoying the aquarium, possibly communing with the animals placidly swimming around him.

I wish I knew you in real life, Aquarium Wizard.

Dragon*Con logo with a whale shark.

This is a pretty good shot of a whale shark with the Dragon*Con logo. If you’ve never been to the Georgia Aquarium before, my pictures do not do it justice, and you should go.

Dragon*Con logo on the floor of the Aquarium.

Post-aquarium, we went back to our room for more cocktails, then attended another party in the Atrium Ballroom, where we saw this:

Barbarian Queen techno dance

We were all pretty drunk by this point, and I think fairly confused by what was going on. As a group of people raised on rock shows, the sight of a bunch of barbarian women gyrating onstage, seemingly doing nothing but yet producing some pounding dance music, was a bit overwhelming for all of us.

But just as we did Friday night, it didn’t take long for us to get into the swing of things (in fact, a drugged-out swinger couple approached one of our friends for a group fondle. He declined.). I know I got on a chair and did the Pencil Sharpener, one of my best moves.

Sunday

I think Sunday is when we may have attended the Venture Bros panel. Not sure. One of our party attended a Buffy panel while we went to it, which she later said was awesome. In fact, I’m now almost certain that it was Sunday that we did the Venture Bros. panel.

Sunday we also did another BSG panel, and a LOTR panel. All three panels were in the Atrium Ballroom, so as soon as one was over, we had to go outside and get in line for the next one.

I don’t remember much else about Sunday.

Monday

Monday morning I got up and went downstairs to the vendor halls, where I knew things would be on sale. I got some issues of “Tales from the Crypt” for $1 each, a huge graphic novel that normally goes for about $30 for $10, and some early Dr. Seuss books for $5 each.

Larry Elmore was there, so I got a print of this, and got him to sign it:

Ancient Red Dragon

You may recognize this painting from the old “red box” Dungeons and Dragons game.

We checked out of the Marriott, got the car from the valet (which bore no signs of moonlighting as a street rod), and drove home… sleepily.

Overall:

I had a great time. Mostly because I got to hang out with old friends, but also because Dragon*Con offers a primo environment for hanging out and people watching. In fact, it may be the best people watching to be had on the planet.

I wish I could remember more, but I pretty much just drank a lot, the whole time. Sorry.

As evidence of this, I offer you exhibit A & B: photos which were on my phone but I do not remember taking.

I feel they may offer some insight into what my scotch-addled brain may have been up to while I was on vacation for five days.

blurry Pinhead

This poor Hellraiser bastard. I have no idea how this picture came to be, but I’m guessing I was excited to finally see some horror represented at Dragon*Con. I have no doubt that I made a nuisance of myself to this fella. Thanks for being patient with me as I took a blurry photo of your head, and not tearing my soul apart.

I must say, though, that there is something endearing about that crooked Hellraiser grin. It’s like he’s so happy to be having his picture taken. Makes Pinhead even more tragic, if you ask me.

Dr. Rockzo

Flask in hand, poised and ready to go, I apparently decided to get in on the photo-taking action on this one. Poor Dr. Rockzo. No telling what I told this dude. I probably forced him to drink from my flask. Once again, thanks for not kicking my ass. I think it is telling that I have a huge grin on my face, but the Rock n Roll Clown doesn’t look nearly as happy as I am. I wouldn’t be either if it was 5am and some stumbling drunk fat guy wanted to get a picture with me… and then probably force me to drink from his flask and get mono.

If you blow the picture up, it looks like I have something else in my hand too. Possibly a water bottle? Whatever it is, this is probably the last surviving picture of it, as it didn’t come home with me.

Anyway, that is it! At least what I remember of it! Dragon*Con 2012, wooooo!!!!

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