Garfield’s Halloween Adventure

Posted on September 18, 2011 by bayoubabylon

347 Days until Dragon*Con 2012…

If you are about 25 years old or older, you can stop reading this post right now.

Why? Because you should already know how awesome Garfield’s Halloween Adventure is. And if you don’t, well… you’re probly not reading this blog anyway.

Attention hipsters: the 80’s were WAY better than even you can imagine. I know you thought the 80’s were totallycooldude, at least you did for a minute, but throw away your stupid hat and your neon duds and your Vice magazines, because if you don’t have a suction-cup Garfield stuck to something you own, you ain’t shit.

I told a friend of mine recently that the 80’s were the absolute pinnacle of the Kid empire that lasted from about the mid-40’s until sometime around 1994 or so, which is around when toys hit the highway and videogames usurped the throne of greatest Christmas Toy. The toy was at its ultimate technological peak. Action figures’s guns shot frackin CAPS for chrissake!!! Kids were still dangerous and being a kid was still extremely dangerous. Not only that, but it was encouraged! Like Gene Hackman in the Royal Tennenbaums, the media bred recklessness into our nation’s youth. Want evidence? Here’s a few movies you may have heard of:

the Goonies: Kids hafta save the frackin parents! Not only that, but if they were not adventurous and reckless enough, they all would have had to leave the goondocks.

Explorers: Kids build a SPACESHIP! Instead of dying, they have a totally awesome adventure in outer space because, guess what, the spaceship made from a tilt-a-whirl ride vehicle actually WORKS!!!

Over the Edge: This was released in 1979, but screw it. That’s the 80’s way! I am reckless with my movie recommendations! This movie is about a bunch of kids who do drugs, listen to rock n roll music, and eventually take their whole damn school hostage. Hugely influential on my young mind. Recommended for a trilogy with Fortress and Red Dawn.

How does all this “fit” into getting into shape for Dragon*Con 2012? Because listen up, Dragon*Con organizers! We need a Garfield panel!!! Get Jim Davis, get Lorenzo Music, get whomever! I want to ask Jim Davis if Jon Arbuckle has ever gotten a taste of that sweet sweet Liz that he’s always on about. Or if he hates dogs, since Odie is so stupid. Or if by having all of his characters have the same oval eyes he’s making a statement that we are all connected. You know. Circle of Life and whatnot.

Like everything else in the 80’s, Garfield’s Halloween Adventure focused on the good and bad of venturing outside of the normal way of doing things. The plot is this:

(ARRRR, THAR DO BE SPOILERS AHEAD, ARRR)

Garfield figures out that, on Halloween, people give away candy. Fo’ free. Garfield, being a fatass like me, loves this idea and promptly “convinces” (i.e. “tricks”) Odie into dressing up as pirates (following a rousing musical number by Lou Rawls) and going trickertreating.

Then, our hero starts thinking outside the Box.

He sees some more houses across the river, hijacks a boat in true pirate fashion (he even calls himself Orangebeard while doing it), and sets sail for more booty. Odie loses the oars and they end up running aground on an island in the middle of the river, complete with a scary old house and irl pirate ghosts. Of course Garfield and Odie escape with more candy than they had to begin with, which tells all the kids out there that if you do something reckless, it may suck to begin with, but eventually it pays off big time. Life serving the risk-taker, right?

Where this special pays off is just like the Garfield Christmas Special:

(on a side note, in case you don’t know, a long time ago big-brand characters like Garfield, or Star Wars, or the notorious Peanuts Gang would have “Specials”. These “Specials” were just holiday-themed cartoons that would only come on once a year, much like the Simpsons “Treehouse of Horror” episodes. I’m not sure if these type of Specials even exist anymore, but if they don’t, the world is worse for it.)

What was so great about the Garfield Specials is that they truly knew what the meat of a holiday was. This Halloween special was genuinely kinda scary in some parts! And the Christmas special was genuinely kinda touching in some parts! Now you may just call me an old softy, but when that grandma starts talking about her dead old husband, and how he just plum loved Christmas, I have to look away. And regarding the Halloween special, you can not tell me that that old bastard in the chair isn’t scary as hell.

"BELIIIEEEVE IT, MY FRIEND!!!!"

 
 
 
I took this photo of one of the greatest dvds of all time. ALL THREE Garfield Holiday Specials on ONE DISC!!! The Thanksgiving one kinda sucks, to be honest. But that Halloween one and the Christmas one are golden grahams. I also wanted to point out that I am sorta against owning holiday specials on home video. Part of what made the holiday specials so magical is that they only came on ONCE A YEAR, and if you missed it, guess what? You’re just a fucked chicken, because your next chance to see it won’t be for another 365 days or so. I still will watch the Peanuts Christmas special on tv, or Rudolph, if I can catch them, just to recapture some of that old special magic. The next best thing to that is an old worn out vhs tape where you taped them off of tv, complete with commercials.
 

HUP HUP!!! TREE-IN-ONE!!!

 
 
This is a great set, and I highly recommend buying it, but if you are cheap, here is part one from youtube. You can follow the links to the rest of it, and you can thank me later.
 
 
For exercise yesterday, I didn’t end up doing anything but walking around a local outdoor mall with the wife. I ate pretty good though. I can’t remember everything I ate, but I know the bulk of it was some weird-tasting dried chili mango. It was spicy and sweet and had a weird perfume-y aftertaste to it, which I didn’t care for.
Today I am back to work, so that means no exercise so far (it’s a slow day today. busy days on the railroad mean a lot of walking). For breakfast I had yogurt and granola and a couple pieces of that grandmaw’s perfumefruit. Then for lunch I had two plain taquitos (eggs in a tortilla with salsa) and an oj.
 
Can’t wait for Halloween, the O.G. Dragon*Con!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Posted in About Fitness, About Media | 1 Comment

Weekend exercisms

Posted on September 17, 2011 by bayoubabylon

Unlike the rest of you, I am at work this morning. While you drive to the beach for one last wave, or get a pick-em-up game of b-ball going with your bros, or get together with your guild for an epic raid, I am at work, making sure that the railcars that are supposed to be in Indiana don’t end up in India (this happens more than you would think).

Being as I have to be up for work on the weekends at 4:30am, I have not exercised today. Still haven’t decided if I’m going to do that or not. About a year ago, I did about 6 months of trying to get in shape… then I went on vacation and it all went to shit. But! During this 6 month period I had a decent schedule down.

Mondays, Wednesdays, & Fridays: the JFZ for cardio and light weights.

Tuesdays & Thursdays: Kettlebell (we’ll discuss this later) & situps/pushups

Weekends: OFF, except I still try and eat right.

Speaking of eating right, here’s what I ate since I last posted:

For dinner I ate another bowl of the Irish Stew I made (how did yall let me forget the peas????) with a glass of red wine.

Breakfast this morning was some yogurt with granola and some V8.

For a snack, I had a small pack of “smoked” almonds. They tasted like bacon-y almonds.

Lunch included a bag of Baked Lays, a banana, and a 6″ turkey sub. Water to drink.

I know yall are all tired of hearing me talk about this Irish Stew I made, but it’s hard to cook for two people without making enough to last for more than one meal. That said, I thought I might share the recipe with yall and you can tell me if you think it was healthy or not. I’m guessing not, because it tasted good.

1. Put a leg of lamb in a crock pot with some cubed taters, a cut up onion, and some baby carrots. Add salt and pepper and a little celery.

2. Turn on the crock pot.

3. Cook for about 8-10 hours on low. After this time, take out the lamb and remove the bone. Also, what I did right here is add a bunch of Instant Tater flakes to the broth, which thickened up the “soup” and turned it into a “stew”.

4. add some peas and let it cook for a little more, until the peas are donedude. I involuntarily skipped this step because I am an nincompoop.

Voila! Eat it up!

While you are enjoying that Irish Stew you just made, here is a photo of a dragon working out for you to admire:

Getting fit as shit at fitfordragoncon.com!

Posted in About Fitness, About Me | Leave a comment

Day 4: About the About Part 4: Media

Posted on September 17, 2011 by bayoubabylon

348 Days until Dragon*Con 2012…

I realize that that is a stupid name. “About the Abouts”. What kind of numbskull comes up with something like that? Well, lucky for you, today is the last day you must hear it. Er, read it.  And today is about Media, meaning all forms of pop culture, and how it plays into my grand vision of how I picture fitfordragoncon.com to be one day.

See, the title “Fit for Dragon*Con” also refers to material that would be “fit” for Dragon*Con, meaning stuff that would fit in there, get it? I know, I am a clever raptoropterus.

I see a website where geeks can get together and share their love of Jack Kirby (as though there aren’t about a gazillion of those sites already) but also come together as a group of geeks who have made a decision to make their lives better, even if it’s just by feeling better. Who sez we can’t be fanboys and fit too? It’s not just the meatheads and jocks who picked on us when we were 90 pounds that can feel and look great! As a matter of fact, most of those dudes are probably like us now: fat.

But the point isn’t to exclude any Sporty Spice types… the point is that we can all make a difference in our own lives, no matter what our interests are.

Which brings me to the media portion of the post:

What makes us nerds, or geeks, or whatever you want to call us, is that we simply do not fit into any mold, which is part of why Dragon*Con has gotten so frackin huge.

I feel like a lot of people who identify with parts of geek culture feel some sort of pressure to embrace all of it, whether they like it or not. It’s like, around here guys feel a lot of pressure to only do things that are “manly”. I think there are plenty of guys in my area who may not actually be interested in hunting or fishing, but they do it obsessively and wear the gear because they were just raised that that is men do.

I have no doubt that there are people who attend Dragon*Con and still feel like outcasts because they don’t like Battlestar Galactica or anime or some other large facet of the culture at Dragon*Con.

Fear not, my friend who does feel he/she fits in anywhere!!! We are all like that! It’s just that some people don’t mind admitting that they’ve never played a game of D&D or that they’ve never blown a deer’s head off his shoulders.

Just for a quick example, here are some of my own, personal, geek confessions:

1. I do not care for the original Star Trek. I was always a Star Wars sort of guy. I liked quite a few episodes of TNG, but I never really got down and dirty with it either.

2. I’ve only seen the first season of the new Dr. Who. The one with Chris Eccleston and Billie Piper. I enjoyed the show, but honestly I’d just rather be playing Lord of the Rings Online.

3. I do not care for Firefly. I tried to like it, honestly. I thought the dialogue was great, but I just have never cared for any “Cowboys in Space” show.

4. I’m rather non-plussed by the whole steampunk thing. I like the aesthetics of it sometimes, but I just don’t understand how it got to be such a huge deal.

And ya know what? I am more than ok with the things that I don’t like. In fact, I love going to Dragon*Con and seeing people in steampunk costumes or dusters or standing in line for hours to see the cast of Star Trek: TNG (whom I honestly thought were kinda dicks in their panel). Our lives are not defined by what the media (ahhhh. secret word.) says that geeks should, or should not, like. I think that is a big problem over on the West Coast with Comic-Con right now (I’ve never been, but I’d like to check it out someday).

So what are your geek confessions? What is something that you feel pressure to like, in order to fit in with the D*Con crowd? Hook us all (all two of us) up with your thoughts on this serious matter.

Happiness is a Crown Royal bag filled with these....

 
 
 
Posted in About Dragon*Con, About Media | 1 Comment

Down and Back is One!!!

Posted on September 16, 2011 by bayoubabylon

This afternoon I went on a quest. A quest to Take the Garbage Out. It was during this quest that I came stumbling through some brush and out into the glaring sunlight to find this:

By Ishtar, it's an Oasis!!!

It was, indeed, an oasis right back there beyond the Wild that is my backyard. I immediately ran inside and consulted the Oracle Internettum Infernus about what to do. Apparently, these oases (is that plural for oasis? oasisises?) can be used to get FIT!!! Who knew that a cement pond could be used for something OTHER than sitting around in and drinking co’bar (for those of you not from the Deep, that is a popular conjunction junction for “cold beer”). I also read that you must swim in it to fully benefit from its exercising properties, and that DOWN AND BACK is generally considered one lap! That sounded like some bullmess to me, so I decided to count down and back as two. My pool and my rules, right? I mean, oasis. But seriously, you wouldn’t run around a track then throw it in reverse and run back around for one lap, right? No, once around is one. Twice around is two. You get the picture. I bet Conan never had to worry about who was counting his laps, and if they did he’d probly eat them.

But getting back to the running track analogy, why don’t we swim in a circle around the outside of pools and count that as a lap?

I donned some trunks and a device to be able to see UNDER-FRACKIN-WATER!!! Oh, technology.

I carefully slipped into its clear blue depths and marveled at how crystal clear and freezingballs cold it was.

like a duck to water, amirite?

Nevermind the hairy chesticles. Or obscene paleness and frecklies. I guess I look more like a platypus than a duck. Point is, my true identity remains secret (although all 3 of you who look at this blog know exactly who I am).

I took a dip in the oasis, permanently damaging my subaquatic optic device, and swam a grand total of 20 laps!!! Read that again: T-W-E-N-T-Y LAPS!!!! twenty laps, bitch.

Well, 10.

Posted in About Fitness, About Me | Leave a comment

Day 3: About the Abouts Part 3: Fitness

Posted on September 16, 2011 by bayoubabylon

349 Days until Dragon*Con 2012….

So it is now 7:20am and I just got back from The Gym, where I did 35 minutes on the elliptical again today. I nearly died, a fact alluded to by me passing gas while on the whirly torture device I was on. I had lost control and my fate was in the hands of the JFZ gods.

The Gym, and the JFZ, are my local Planet Fitness. JFZ stands for “Judgement Free Zone” because, supposedly, you can go in there if you are fat like me, or old (getting there), or whatever, and no one will judge you… at least not vocally. They have rules against “grunting” and even have an alarm that goes off if you “drop weight”. Grunting is the feral noises that bodybuilder dudes make when they’re about to blow out their bootyho’. Dropping weight is when you get a ton of weight up, but it weighs so goddam much that you hafta drop it like it’s… just too heavy for your weakling ass to pick up. All of the rules are there so that fat losers like myself can feel at home amongst the Hardbodies. And it works, most of the time.

I haven’t been to a lot of gyms (duh), but most of the ones I have been to are filled to the brim with Hardbodies 2 already, and they eyeball your galootness (credits to JDH for that word) with both disgust and ridicule. At least in my mind they do. But when I’m in The Gym amongst a few fit folks, a few fatasses, and a few old people, I don’t stand out as much. And I like that. And not just because I don’t want anyone to notice that I wear the same workout britches every damn day.

It’s so weird to me that Americans, myself included, will pay for a gym membership and then drive to the gym… to walk. Or simulate jogging, which is what I think the Whirly Bird is (the elliptical). Then, we pay someone to come do our yard work! That’s free exercise just waiting for us! Maybe other countries do that too, but it just seems like a very American thing to me.

As far as the workout itself goes, I have no doubt that there are plenty of people out there in the internet. And the vast majority of them have no clue what Dragon*Con is. Out of the people who know what Dragon*Con is, an EXTREMELY small minority are aware of this blog. But even out of those 2 people who may be reading, I am sure that they are probably thinking, “35 minutes on an elliptical??? That’s it???”

I realize that is not a lot of working out, but it is a lot for me. As I was telling a friend of mine yesterday, I don’t have a plan or schedule worked out yet, I’m just in the beginning stages, but I do know that I am fat because I take in more calories than I use. And that’s it. Sure, there are contributing factors; psychology, crazy work schedule, etc. But it really just boils down to the fact that I love pizza and buffalo wings and hate exercise.

So, for now, my Fitness Plan consists of the tried-and-true “eat less, move more” school of thought. I’m sure that soon I will get a schedule nailed down and I will gladly post it here.

For breakfast today, I had some yogurt with some granola, the rest of an Odwalla smoothie I started last night, some water, and now I am having coffee. The Irish Stew I started last night wasn’t ready in time for dinner, so it is now on the menu for lunch and probably dinner.

For snacks today, I have lined up my usual snack of cocoa almonds, but I also bought some Soy Butter yesterday at the store, so I’ll have that with some celery. The soy butter was on sale for 99 cents! I had never had it, but for 99 cents I bought four jars of it and I will love it like it was a free lapdance.

Tomorrow we will address the “About Media” portion of this blog, in which I’ll try and give you an idea of what sort of crap you will see here, and what you won’t (there will be little to no Star Trek content, for instance).

Until then, a video of a song on my workout playlist:

 

 

 

Posted in About Fitness | 4 Comments