2 Movie Reviews.

Posted on July 14, 2012 by bayoubabylon

47 Days Until Dragon*Con 2012!!!

Lawd. It’s so close I can already smell the strange mix of hairspray, plastic, food court food, and body odor that means Dragon*Con.

And here I sit, completely UNfit for Dragon*Con, eating a “cherry cheese danish” (I doubt any Danes would be caught dead eating this vending machine trash. Have you seen the Danes? They are fitfordragoncon. Bikes and shit.) and drinking coffee.

No costume. No workemouts. No Raiden, no BSG Officer. No self esteem.

Which leads me to my next point:

Movie Reviews. The absolute bottom rung of the blog hierarchy. Stupid people thinking their stupid opinion is more important than everyone else’s stupid opinion. Someone with zero self esteem writes movie reviews to boost their own sense of self-worth, because putting things down makes me feel better about myself.

Wait. How did that sentence turn into being about me?

Anyway, I’ve watched two “geek”-appropriate fillums lately.

I don’t watch movies a lot these days. Nor do I read much. I do 3 things: work, WoW, and Skyrim. But something got into me and made me want to watch a couple movies, and I’m mostly glad I did.

Thor.

I haven’t watched many of the “new” batch of comic book movies that are out there (by “new” I mean going back to that first X-Men movie or Spiderman movie, whichever came first). They always look terrible and, from the ones that I have seen, usually are terrible. I like the two Tim Burton Batman movies, and the new Joker one with the dead guy, but that’s about it.

Comic books, for the most part, are not high art. Sure, I believe they have the capability to be meaningful “art”, but those don’t (usually) feature any superheroes.

Is that vague enough? Superhero comics have their place, and they led me to the comics that I read today. Without Wolverine I wouldn’t be into Alan Moore (who also did superhero comics, of course).

I guess I’m digging myself deeper into a hole here. What I’m trying to say is that I expect more from movies than I do comics.

For some reason, I give stupid comics a pass, while turning my nose up at stupid movies.

Example: I hate the Transformers movies. I think they are awful, horrible, complete pieces of trash.

But I’ll watch the cartoon all day long… and it is worse than the movies.

But it is nostalgic.

And that’s why comics, even comics published today, get a pass from me.

Thor is that. A stupid comic book movie. In fact, the terrible writing and acting nearly made me turn it off after the first 15 minutes or so.

But I hung in there, and finished the whole thing, feeling like I had just completed eating some big put-your-picture-on-the-wall-if-you-finish-it gross meal. Happy that I did it and that I made it to the end, but feeling terrible and horrible about myself.

For some reason, I expected the movie to be based on Norse mythology. Why would I do such a silly thing?

It is obviously based on the comic book, not the mythology that the comic is (extremely loosely) based on.

That said, it is just what you would expect: ridiculous overwrought action sequences, stupid dialogue (that would be right at home in the comic), CGI everything, and dumb costumes (why do filmmakers feel the need to make comic book characters costumes look modern? we (read, “I”) just want the classic costumes, and the classic characters, kicking some serious arse.).

Was it fun? I guess, when you can overlook the truly groan-worthy dialogue. Loki looked cool. And the frost giants were cool. I guess I was kinda pulling against Thor in this one. Anthony Hopkins is a good Odin, even though his costume looked like something you could buy at Kmart during Halloween.

Leave your cynicism at the door and you might enjoy this one.

As a side note, I read a review of “Prometheus” the other day that described it as, and I’m not joking here, a “thinking man’s movie”. If you might, in your wildest dreams, consider Prometheus as a “thinking man’s movie”, you may truly enjoy Thor sans any booze or hallucinogenics.

5/10. To quote “American Splendor”, “Hey man, average is dumb.”

Conan. (the new one with that Hawaiian in it)

Badass.

Ok ok, there’s good and bad with this one. I’m a “bad news first” sort of guy (goes with my “glass half empty” sort of guyness), so here it goes:

The main problem I have with this one is the look of it: Not enough snow, icy forests, or wearing of furs. And Conan is not samoan. I know Cimmerian kinda sounds like Samoan, but they are not the same.

New Conan video game?

And this may border on the racist, to some people, but I am sorry: Conan is from the North, and as such, I always pictured him to be more Nordic looking (though in the comics he has dark hair). Also, I have a suspicion that the village may have been making milkshakes in Conan’s mom, as he looks absolutely nothing like Ron Perlman. Conan would decapitate me for saying that, so it’s a good thing he is a fictional character.

I think this guy did a good job though, even though he doesn’t look like how I picture Conan to look.

Also, with the environment thing: there are plenty of Conan stories featuring the barbarian traversing the endless sands of some deadly desert somewhere… it’s just not his element. And, to admit my own selfishness, I just want to see Conan in vast, snowy, mountainous, forests while he fights against sorcery with the riddle of steel.

Basically, I want a Skyrim movie, but with Conan as the main character… and with no magic on the good guy’s side.

These objections are trivial, however, as this movie nails it in every other possible way. We get Conan as the ship captain (one of his many roles that I always relished), we get Conan as the leader of a band of savage outlaws, we get Conan as the lone wolf, and in many other roles that he plays both in the stories by Robert Howard and the classic comics. But the one we really just wanna see, and the one he delivers in spades here, is The Stone Cold Brutal Slayer of Bad Guys.

Blood and boobs. Need I say more? If you like your fantasy dark and visceral, Frazetta-style, then this is the movie for you.

The plot? Fuck it.

The dialogue? Fuck that too. (Besides, there is no fracking way anyone will ever beat The Line in the Schwarzenawhosit original. You know the one.)

Anyway, if you want to see Conan completely demolish everything in his path, you need to see this movie.

Is it a more intelligent film than Thor? No.

Is it better? Yes. by like, a bunch.

Why? It knows what it is and just does that. That may not have made sense.

errrr… BLLEEEARRRGH!!! BLOOD AND GUTS AND BOOBS!!!! HEAVY METAL!!!!

\m/

I think that is internet slang for “if a High on Fire album was made into a movie, this would be it.”

7/10 and I’m sticking to it.

***********************************************************************************************

I hafta say, it felt pretty good to write something again. Even something as completely trivial and pointless as movie reviews.

So that’s it, fitfordragoncon is back, bitch. And worse than ever.

So wake up, my five “followers”. I’m looking at you, Juggernaut, Conceited Ape, etc.

Time to get in shape, get “geeky”, and stay that way. Forevers.

Posted in About Me, About Media, General dorky shit | 6 Comments

D*C 2012 Guest List Excitement!

Posted on May 31, 2012 by bayoubabylon

Only 92 Days Until Dragon*Con 2012!!!!

 

I had no idea that we had gotten so close to this year’s Dragon*Con. I really wanted to do a big “100 Days to Go!” post, but I haven’t been paying much attention to being fit or to Dragon*Con lately, to be honest.

There’s numerous reasons for that, but they mostly all boil down to me being lazy. If you are the type of person who enjoys hearing excuses, here’s a couple:

– I was on vacation in the mountains for almost 2 weeks. While this involved a lot of walking, it also involved loads of eating “bad” food. Naturally, I gained a few pounds while on vacation, as I typically do.

– After arriving home from vacation, I experienced what felt like jet lag, even though we drove there and back again. This “car lag” led to a cold, which I am suffering through right now. I’m not going to the gym with a cold. Not just because I feel like a run over dog, but because I assume that my fellow JFZ members would not appreciate contracting strep throat from using the ToT after me.

Anyway, so I’ve got roughly 3 months to whip my flabby ass into fitfordragoncon shape. Can it happen? I believe so.

But what I really wanted to talk about is how surprised I was to check the Dragon*Con official website (linked to on the right) and find that the guest list had expanded exponentially since the last time I checked it. It made me wonder who my readership is the most excited about (if there are any of you crickets left out there).

One thing that has me a bit dismayed is the seemingly small number of comics-related guests, versus the preponderance of tv/movie-related guests. I’m hoping that D*C isn’t going the way of Comic*Con by turning into a “pop culture con”. I know I’m not the only one who fears that.

For years now, Dragon*Con has been the true fan’s convention, whereas Comic*Con has slowly turned to promoting television programs that aren’t even genre-related at all. That said, I would jump at the chance to attend Comic-Con one year, if anyone is up for a very long road trip.

Anyway, there are plenty of blogs out there on that subject.

What I wanted to get to is sharing my excitement over some of the guests at this year’s D*C.

So without further ado, here’s my current top-5 Must-See Guests at Dragon*Con this year:

#5. Patrick Stewart

I’ve seen TNG panels before (ok, well, once), but I’ve never seen the Cap. This will probably be a long line. He’s not higher on the list because we left the last TNG panel early because it was boring and we were so far away that we couldn’t see anything.

#4. Cary Elwes

I don’t know if I trust any fantasy fan who isn’t also a huge fan of the Princess Bride.

#3. Anthony Michael Hall

I need Rusty Griswold’s autograph.

#2. Katee Sackhoff

Starbuck was my least favorite character on BSG, but there’s no way I’m missing a BSG panel, especially one with Starbuck on it.

#1. Gimli

 In fantasy, there’s lots of things that really get me going.

One of them is dwarves.

The other is sweet beards.

Gimli is going to be at Dragon*Con. I must see him. Plus, check out that lovely pipe. Gimli is a dwarf who can fight, but also clearly appreciates the finer things in life.

So that’s it. My current top 5. You’ll notice that they are all from the tv/movie category. That’s because I don’t give two fucks about some asshole who did 6 issues of some X-Men series I’ve never heard of and is probably bad, or some jackanape who wrote bad Star Wars novels one time(though I wouldn’t mind seeing Timothy Zahn).

Like I said, the selection of non-tv and non-movie guests is, so far, disappointing. Bring back Neal Adams! Bring back Mike Mignola! Bring back SHAG, and Stan Lee and Neil Gaiman! 

So, who are you looking forward to the most??? Even if you aren’t attending this year, who would you be most excited about (here is the guest list, fyi)???

Also, I wanted to link this: Dragon*Con Membership Newsletter. It’s an entertaining preview of what is currently being planned for D*C 2012. I’m looking forward to once again attending the party at the Georgia Aquarium, because there’s not much that is more fun than a bunch of drunk nerds eyeballing the beluga whales.

Posted in About Dragon*Con, About Fitness | 3 Comments

What Would GI Joe Do???

Posted on April 30, 2012 by bayoubabylon

122 Days Until Dragon*Con 2012…

It seems like just yesterday I was serious about being Conan at 2012… and not the O’Brien type with onions and peppers. Today that seems like a ridiculous goal, despite whether I ever could have achieved it or not. These days, the costume goal is just “not fat”. I should probably have loftier aspirations, but I’m a natural pessimist, so there ya go.

Today I am posting because it is the last day of April, and if I don’t post anything today, it’ll be the whole month that I’ve gone without posting. A stupid reason, I know, but more or less a practical one. It’s also to stir up the readership, because I lost a few facebook “likes” due to my Hunger Games bashing in the last post. Oh well. If they’re the type who gets so worked up over the Hunger Games, this blog wasn’t ever for them, anyway.

I do feel a slight twinge of guilt over not posting much, though. And like a lot of things, the longer you go without posting, the harder it is to go back to it. The worst thing about that is, posting on this blog and fitnessing once went hand-in-hand. Despite not posting much, I’m still hitting the gym in the morning… but then hitting the ice cream at night. It is a bad formula. A formula for mediocrity and a formula for not progressing. By progress, I mean getting fit as shit, of course.

I’m also back on the WoW after receiving a Scroll of Resurrection from a friend of mine. This is probably not as bad of an idea as it sounds. Probably. Because when I do go to the gym, I get up early and go in the mornings, before I would be up anyway, so that gym time doesn’t cut into Me Time (or T-Time, as I like to call it). So instead of getting up, going to the gym, then playing lotro and watching movies until time to go to work; now I get up, go to the gym, and play WoW until work. Really, it’s no change then.

Where was I?

Right. GI Joe and Transformers have been added to the netflix streaming service.

I figured I would share this information with people who might understand my excitement.

To be clear, this is the original cartoons from when we were kids. Not the movies. I prefer to pretend that the new movies do not exist, much like I pretend that the new Star Wars movies do not exist (or the “redone” versions of the originals. Speaking of this subject, I’d like to recommend the fillum “The People vs. George Lucas”. I watched it last night on the netflix and really enjoyed it. I’d like to eventually confront my feelings about Star Wars and the new ones, but now is not the time.)

So, a few things about GI Joe really fast (as this posting shit is really cutting into my WoW time right about now):

1. It sucks.

I went from the ages of about 15 to 30 talking shit about all the kids shows these days. “These kids today, they don’t know what good is! Power Rangers?!??!?!?! Pah!!!!! We had GI Joe and Transformers and Voltron and He-Man and blah blah blah!!!! Now those were good shows!!!!”

Turns out, not so much. The badness of the first 3 episodes both entertained me and put me in my place as I came to the sad realization that I was just as stupid as any other kid. Bottom line, like Marv says in Home Alone, “Kids are stupid.” And unfortunately, I have it from my cousin (who recently tried to watch every episode of GI Joe in order, but didn’t make it) that it only goes downhill from here.

Despite it being bad, I’m still excited to watch them all. There’s nothing better to accompany my pre-work lunches than 20 minutes of stupid television shows from my youth.

The next two things that got me worked up are in the theme song:

2. In the first few episodes, the theme song explicitly states, “It’s GI Joe against Cobra and Destro…”

What the what??????

I had to do a double take. And if you are familiar with how much of a pain in the ass it is to rewind on netflix, you’ll know that I really needed to hear that again.

There it was, plain as day, “GI Joe against Cobra and Destro”.

I brought this matter up to my cousin, and he says that, at some point, they change the lyrics to the words that I remember so well, “It’s GI Joe against Cobra the Enemy, fighting to save the day… bah bah…GI Jooooeeeee!!!!”

Clearly, at the beginnings of the show, Destro and Cobra were separate entities, despite both being bad guys.

This begs the question: if Destro was his own separate bad guy, despite being allies with the Cobras, why didn’t GI Joe just take him out? Surely a super team of guys like Flint, Roadblock, Gung Ho (by far the most homoerotic Joe in the bunch), and Snake Eyes would have no trouble taking down one guy, right? Then half their damn enemies are dead!!! Yo Joe!!!!!

"Gung Ho, boys!!! Amirite???"

It also makes you wonder what the relationship between Cobra and Destro really was. My cousin and I came to the conclusion that Destro is an “arms dealer” (definitely a bad guy in 1980’s America, as evidenced by Cobra Commander’s brief appearance in an episode of Transformers as a, you got it, “arms dealer” and, of course, a bad guy. My cousin swears this episode exists, but I can’t remember it, nor have I seen it.)

The Baroness is also a common link between Destro and the Cobras. I didn’t remember this, but there are multiple scenes where Destro and the Baroness slip off for some make out sessions. I wonder what it’s like to kiss that metal face. I also wonder if well… you know…

Anyway, the Baroness is smoking hot. Though if Destro, as one man, is on an equal playing field with Cobra (according to the theme song), I imagine he’d have to beat the Bad Guy Bitches off with a stick.

Regardless, at some point in the show. Destro becomes a part of Cobra and the line in the theme song is changed.

3. Evidence that Duke is “GI Joe”.

GI Joe???

File this one under “kids are stupid”, also. With a subheading of, “I have no qualms about admitting to my own stupid mistakes for your entertainment.”

There was definitely a period of time when I was a kid that I thought Duke was GI Joe. As in, I thought that was his name.

Breathe that stupidity in for a second.

Despite Scarlet saying his name a billion times in the first couple episodes, for some reason I thought Duke was GI Joe and that the show was about him.

This isn’t too surprising considering that he is the main character in the first few episodes and is evidently the leader of GI Joe (I don’t recall if I thought that the team of hyper-specialized soldiers was called GI Joe or something else, though. Maybe I thought they were just named after their leader… GI Joe).

For years I looked back in shame on those times on the playground when I would defiantly announce, “I’m GI Joe!!! I’m GI Joe!!!” I also had a wood gun that my dad had made for me; none of the other kids had guns (although a nice pine stick would do in a pinch) so I got first choice in who I wanted to be when we played GI Joe.

Why do I have no shame in this now??? For one, I would like to amuse you with my own ignorance, but for two, I’d like to point this out in the theme song:

“Yo Joe!
He’ll fight for freedom where ever there’s trouble.
GI Joe is there.

It’s GI Joe against Cobra and Destro
Fighting to save the day.
He never gives up.
He’s always there,
Fighting for freedom over land and air

GI Joe- A real American hero
GI Joe is there

[never mind this next part. I think I zoned out as a kid when the guy starts the talky part.]

 
GI Joe is the codename for America’s daring, highly-trained
special mission force.
Its purpose: to defend human freedom against Cobra-
a ruthless, terrorist organization determined to rule the world.

[pay attention again:]

He never gives up.
He’ll stay til the fight’s won.
GI Joe will dare.

GI Joe- A real American hero [singular]
GI Joe!!!!!!!!!!”

Point is, while it is saying “he” it’s showing lots of shots of Duke kicking some serious Cobra ass. I am taking this as evidence that I was not as stupid as I have thought all these years. “He”, in my kid brain, was obviously Duke, and the pronoun “he” here is referring to “GI Joe” himself, Duke.

I don’t know when I figured out that GI Joe and Duke were not one and the same, but I doubt I felt very sheepish about it until I was 20 or so and began to feel the emotion of “embarrassment”.

So, what would GI Joe do? He’d curb his appetite for pizza, beer, and ice cream and increase his appetite for fitnessing, paratrooping, laser guns, and kicking the crap out of some Cobras!!!!

Yo, Joe!!!!

Anyway, there will be more ramblings about GI Joe, I’m sure, as I progress through the show. For now, Azeroth calls. I am abruptly ending this because WoW time has been thoroughly cut into and I can’t take it anymore.

Posted in About Fitness, About Me, About Media, General dorky shit | 11 Comments

the Hunger Games

Posted on March 26, 2012 by bayoubabylon

Seriously?

The idea of people fighting each other to the death for the sport of it and for the amusement of others is nothing new, in fact or fiction. In films, some of my favorite movies with this theme are Spartacus, the Running Man (so bad it’s good), and, of course… Battle Royale.

To diverge from the path a bit, allow me to say this: every person who has ever done a blog, a zine, been in a band, or, really, done anything creative has their target audience in mind. They have a type of person that they are writing for, and that they imagine are the types of person who would read it/listen to it. Sometimes you may even have a specific person in mind when you write something.

Today, I am confounded.

My target audience is not people who are exactly like me (never has been), but they are close. They are the “geeks”. A word that, like “emo”, completely lost all its meaning once it was latched onto by the public and everyone else who never really understood the culture anyway… other than as a way to make some serious moolah.

The geeks that I like to imagine read this blog are smart, witty, perhaps a bit socially inept, out of shape (of course), are into some fairly eccentric stuff (obscure Muppet movies, extinct Disney World rides, stuff like that), but most of all…. they are literate. And by literate, I mean they read. And by read, I mean they read things that are above a middle-school level and would never, ever, be branded with that dreaded acronym: YAF.

Young Adult Fiction.

I enjoy candy as much as the next guy. Occasionally, I will purchase a large bag of candy and eat it (which is why I am not fit for dragon*con). Usually, some sort of gummies (gummy lifesavers, jolly ranchers, and the starburst ones with shit in the middle are the best, imo).

But for my nourishment, and to help me grow up big and strong, I eat vegetables, meat, and drink water and milk. Well, mostly I eat pizza and drink beer, but you get the idea. A man cannot live on candy alone.

To really beat the dead horse: Young Adult Fiction is for Young Adults, but it’s fine occasionally as a fun supplement. The problem comes in when people discover that they prefer candy to meat and potatoes. It is easy to eat, cheap, tastes great, and most of all: it’s fun.

Unfortunately, too much candy makes the belly (and mind) mushy and worthless.

Where am I going with all this?

I have made my disdain for Harry Potter evident in the past, along with my own weakness for hype machines. So I know how you feel, my fellow geek. Don’t get me wrong. I have fallen prey to many a hype machine.

But when I see intelligent people go from Harry Potter, to Twilight, to the Hunger Games, it makes me want to barf.  And when these crazy blockbuster movies are clearly marketed heavily towards my fellow geeks, I get mad, because I feel like innocent geeks are being exploited all over the world by greedy, fake, Hollywood money machines.

Make no mistake about it, geek: they know you. They know what you like, and they will feed it to you in the most easily-digestible form you could ever have imagined. And before you know it, you will be addicted to whatever the next “thing” is: whether it’s pussy vampires or wizarding tweens. You won’t even know it, but the hook will be in your mouth and you are being reeled in.

Here’s the thing: the Hunger Games is a dumbed-down, easily-palatable, Battle Royale. 

What’s worse than that???? You know it is!!!!  But yet you still eat it up.

Sure, humans killing each other for sport and fun is nothing new in movies….

But, a dystopian (a word that gets thrown around way too much these days) society in which the gubment forces teens to battle each other to the death??? That is a direct ripoff and I, for one, refuse to be duped and give my money to a hack writer, and the even more talentless producers who are spoonfeeding my geek brethren this tripe.

The Battle Royale novel, which I admittedly have not read, came out in 1999 (I looked it up, dog). The film, which is awesome and was banned in several countries, came out in 2000.

The Hunger Games novel came out in 2008.

NERDRAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE.

Here’s how we can make some money folks: Take a great idea that is both edgy and original, and write a terrible, dumbed-down version of it and then sell the movie rights.

Voila! We are both rich and popular… but somebody, somewhere, will know that we completely suck and hate us for it. Oh well, ya gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette, right?

For me, like the word “emo”, I’m throwing in the towel on the “geek” thing…

Again…

tl;dr

The Hunger Games. Really, yall? Seriously?

Posted in About Media, General dorky shit | 17 Comments

Cosplay 101

Posted on March 14, 2012 by bayoubabylon

Only 169 Days Until Dragon*Con 2012…

That is 13 squared. Sorry, I enjoy perfect squares.

So today should be double lucky, right? Two thirteens…

I should be up front about the title of today’s post: I am not giving lessons on how to cosplay. Rather, I am looking for some tips. As in, I am a potential student in the Cosplay 101 class, which is probably taught by some incompetent T.A.. But since I haven’t passed 101 yet, I can’t gain access to the badass professors who teach classes like COS400: Advanced Cosplaying. Or even COS303: How a Male Can Convince Himself to Cosplay as Sailor Moon.

Do not worry, friend: this fat shit is not going to dress up as anything with the word “sailor” in it.

Basically, I need tips. And I think it is funny that this blog is basically myself begging the general populace for help all the time. “Teach Me How to Fitness”, “Teach Me How to Cosplay”, etc.

General populace, I need your help again: Cosplay 101.

I don’t know the history of cosplay. I freely admit that. I also will freely admit that I have never “cosplayed” in my life. I’ve dressed up for Halloween, and worn costumes to various events over the years, but I’m not exactly sure how “cosplay” is any different than “wearing a costume” or “dressing up”. My guess is that it means you roleplay your character, at least a little bit.

Let me tell you right now, if that is what “cosplaying” is, then I think I’ll just be “wearing a costume” to Dragon*Con this year. I am about the worst roleplayer/actor of all frackin times. I really don’t see how I passed my theatre classes in college. It clearly was not based on any sort of nascent thesbianism. I don’t think that is a word.

To be honest, up until a few years ago, I thought cosplay was synonymous with weirdos. Not weirdos like I’m a weirdo, or you are a weirdo, but weirdos like people who get married to body pillows with manga characters printed on them. And don’t give me any crap about accepting people for who they are, either… because I’m all about that, but there is no denying that the O.G. otakus were some weird folks.

I still think that cosplay has its roots in otaku culture, but I could always be wrong.

Also, I want to emphasize that when I mean “otaku” culture, I don’t mean an American who recently got into manga and anime and now really wishes he/she was Japanese. I mean the Japanese guys who, 30 years ago, were jerking it to anime films of schoolgirls getting tentacle-raped.

It’s like “geek” culture: it’s been diluted over the years, but there are still the, what I call, “distilled geeks”. The ones who still live in the basement and still obsess over MS-DOS.

Regardless of what the definition of cosplay means in today’s pop culture, I need some help.

I have Step 1 down: decide what you want to dress up as. I will be sporting two different costumes at Dragon*Con this year: Random BSG Officer and MK1 Raiden. I have already started procuring the items for my Raiden costume. Like most guys, I will be purchasing the items for my costumes, as it once took me a month to sew a patch on a coat I have.

Really, this should be Step 1.5. Or even 2.

The first step should really be: Deciding if you want to “Dress Up” Or Not. This is a big decision. Bigger than you may realize if you are one of those people for whom “Going to Con” also means “Dressing Up” and the thought of not cosplaying at Dragon*Con is completely unfathomable. For you, skip step 1 and move to step 1.5, mentioned above. But for the rest of us, and by “rest of us” I mean grown-ass men whose fathers would drink themselves into oblivion if they knew their sons even suspected what the word “cosplaying” meant.

This is a HUGE step, let’s not kid ourselves. Sure, all that talk about “Do What Feels Good and Makes You Happy” is fine and dandy, and great for everyone else, but for me, the only thing that finally convinced me to dress up in costume for Dragon*Con was the memory of all the Halloween parties I went to in college without dressing up… and wished I had.

So there it is: Steps 1 and 1.5 completed. Can I move on to the COS400 class yet?

No. In fact, I think that steps 1 and 1.5 are probably covered on the first day of class in COS101. Possibly even on the syllabus, with no “in-class” mention of them.

It is Step 2 that I am stuck on. In fact, I’m so stuck on Step 2, that I can’t see past it to what Step 3 could even possibly be.

Step 2 is this…

How do I go from this:

"Hello! I am your new fat, friendly, semi-geeky friend!"

To this:

GOD OF THUNDER AND LIGHTNING AND SHIT!!!!!!!!

tl;dr:

Questions for you, dear reader:

1. Enlighten me on the history of “cosplay”, and how it is different from just “wearing a costume”. I am currently under the impression that “cosplay” is just a fancy word so that geeks can feel a little cooler about strutting around in public in a Naruto costume. Convince me otherwise, in other words. Please.

2. Tips on how to procure a sweet costume without making it yourself or spending truckloads of the green stuff.

And before I forget, I hope you have a great Saint Patrick’s Day!

Here is a video you should watch:

Posted in About Dragon*Con, About Fitness, About Me, General dorky shit | 10 Comments