3 weeks. Time to buckle down for the home stretch…
While I’m definitely behind on my weight loss goals, which I do not blame on myself, but rather on my laziness and eating more calories than I burn, I am making progress.
But if you’ve been following me on fitocracy, you know that my exercise regimen has been loose, to say the least.
Still, my diet has changed drastically. Every morning I have Cabot brand yogurt with some granola, usually Bear Naked or Cascadian Farms brand.
For lunch, almost every day, I have sardines and triscuits, usually with some fruit (I know just simply everyone is wondering when the sardine taste tests will come back, and all I can say is very very soon. I have some swank sardines in the cupboard that I’d like to review asap).
Dinner is a crapshoot. Last night I had a 6″ turkey on wheat from Subway, a banana, and a cherry coke zero. This is fairly consistent with the type of stuff I eat for supper. The reason my dinners are so inconsistent is because sometimes I’m at work during dinnertime, and sometimes I’m not, which means that what is available to me varies nearly every day.
I usually have a snack or two during the day, either of wasabi almonds or fruit.
But lately my clothes are fitting better and, in general, I just feel better all around.
That was not the case two hours ago when I woke up.
Waking up at 5 in the morning is just unnatural. I honestly can’t believe that I used to do it every day. Unfortunately, I know myself very well and I know that if I don’t get my fitnessing out of the way early, then it won’t get done at all. If I give myself even a few minutes in front of the computer or the tv, then I am screwed for the rest of the day. Which may sound bad, and it is, but I think it is important to be honest with myself about my own weaknesses.
Driving to the JFZ, I couldn’t shake the feeling that all my old COC would look at me in disgust.
Turns out, I was wrong. All my usual COC were there all right, but as I should have suspected… they didn’t give a mess if I was there or not. The only difference was that Smiley Girl, I think, has gotten herself knocked the eff up. Good for her, I guess, if she wants a baby.
There was one lady, who in my mind I call Mom Jeans, who is usually there with another woman, whom I do not have a nickname for, but is just Mom Jeans’s companion. Mom Jeans’s companion is possibly Mom Jeans’s Mom. Mom Jeans was making it happen on The Bull, while Mom Jeans’s companion was across the room on a stationary bike.
“Ooooh, I wonder if they had a falling out?”, I thought.
Usually they fitness together on everything.
But the coup de grace of my COC, the one that I hope is there every time, is Joan Jett.
Joan Jett normally hits up the JFZ a bit later than I do, around 9 or 10 or so, but she is awesome.
Why do I call her Joan Jett? Isn’t it obvious? She looks like she could have been on 20 Minute Workout.
Just in case Joan Jett, through some cosmic accident, has stumbled across this blog: You are awesome. You are in way better shape than I am. I’m a quiet, fat, idiot and you are flashdance material.
Joan Jett is excited to be at the JFZ. A sweatshirt with cutoff sleeves, a headband, and leg warmers. It looks like something the kids would have worn a few years back when everything 80’s was cool again… except that this is all-out, full-on, 80’s, rather than the watered-down version seen recently.
She also yelps during working out, which I love. I don’t know if she is consciously flaunting the JFZ’s non-vocal policy or not, but that headband makes me think that she knows full well what she is doing. If you meant business in the 80’s, you wore a damn headband (Rambo, Brand from Goonies, etc.). A red one, preferably, that angrily screamed at the world: “I am not afraid to get dirty and/or sweaty in pursuit of my goals! And none of that sweat will be in my eyes, so I can properly see you when I kick your ass!”
My COC aside, I hit the Whirly Bird for a grueling 30 minutes (take that, 20 minute workout!) and then did step 1 (or 3, depending on which way you’re going) of the Trilogy of Terror. The one that simulates push-ups.
Speaking of push-ups, they are hard. Somewhere along the way, they got lumped in with sit-ups, which are the “connect-the-dots game” to push-ups’ “sudoku level a zillion”. I mean, seriously, who can’t, at the very least, sit up. It may be the only exercise that is perfectly described right there in the name of it. Whoever was in the business of naming exercises went to coffee when it was sit-up’s turn. I guess “running” is also fairly self-explanatory.
Anyway, sit-ups are easy. Even when not in shape at all, I can easily do 50 sit-ups. I probably haven’t done 50 push-ups in my entire life. I hope that is an exaggeration.
I hope this post hasn’t been too boring, and that I haven’t wasted your time, but I did want to get a finessing post in here, considering that is half of the point of this blog in the first place.
Next time: I review some more sardines. Excitement!!!!!
When I was in high school, I was not very athletic, in a traditional sense. I was not good at baseball, football, or basketball (despite being taller than most of the dudes in my class). In middle school, I was in the band and played football, but eventually you can’t do both, so I quit both.
It was not long after that that I took up skateboarding, surfing, and punk rock music. I guess I was around 14 or so when I got my first Ramones cd, “Mania”. And to give credit where credit is due, my cousin introduced me to the “underground subculture” of punk rock: all ages shows, record players, zines, cds and records that you had to order through the mail because no one in my town carried them.
Most of the guys that I knew who were into these things were also into skateboarding and the other crap that I was into. It was like I had found a whole new world (yes, that is an Aladdin reference) where I fit in like a glove.
But most importantly, more important than finding a place to fit in, was that it was a very small, select group of people who were involved or even were aware that this subculture existed. Out of my high school graduating class of about 400 kids, and even including the rest of my high school, I would say that there were less than 20 of us who were into this stuff.
Which, of course, made us feel special, whether we were or not, which, in turn, made us feel like we were actually better than everyone else.
But a bombshell was coming that would soon change all that….
On February 1, 1994 (I looked it up) Green Day’s album “Dookie” released on Reprise records.
Overnight, it seemed like everyone and their brother looked like us, acted like us, and were into the same stuff. We were no longer members of an elite club, we were no longer special, and worst of all, we were just like everyone else.
You have never met a more pissed off bunch of hooligans. The status quo, which we had hated and (in our minds) fought against for so long (like, at least 2 years dude!) was now us. And we hated the world for it.
Fast forward to today. August 5, 2012. Nearly 20 years later.
Who am I? Where am I going? What does it all mean?
These are questions that many a geek brethren has been asking him or herself lately and, in my mind, are the basis of existentialism.
Geek culture has exploded. In fact, it is way way way bigger than punk rock ever got in the mid/late 90’s. Joss Whedon directed the most successful film of all time. Chew on that for a moment.
Hell, as I’ve said before, the fact that CNN even has a blog called “Geek Out!” (complete with dark-rim plastic glasses icon) is proof enough that geek culture has totally gone apeshit out of control. In fact, it is really no longer “geek culture” but pop culture, as evidenced by SDCC becoming the “biggest pop culture event in the whole damn world”.
(I would like to say, here as an aside, that geek culture has always been big, just not as big as it is right now, which is why it is much bigger than punk rock ever got. It also encompasses so much more than just a style of music and the culture that goes along with it. But who hasn’t heard of Spiderman? Who didn’t grow up reading Superman comics?)
Phrases like, “discover your inner geek” are popping up everywhere. I could have sworn I saw this exact phrase on the Dragon*Con site just the other day, but now I can’t seem to find it.
As someone who was country when country wasn’t cool, I can tell you that this is nothing new. In fact, the purpose of the youtube Barbara Mandrell video is to prove just that:
For every big trend that comes along, there are people out there that were doing it way before it was “cool”.
These are the people who made it cool. It would not be big if millions of people didn’t identify with it in some way.
And it seems, every time, that these people get pissed about it. It’s not just geeks, punks, etc. It is, obviously, country folk and everyone else. I have no doubt that disco was big somewhere before it got huge in the 70’s.
There are two ways to respond to this situation:
1. Get Mad.
2. Accept it and move on.
If you read the comments that are below Joe Peacock’s blog post, it seems that most people these days go for the 2nd option. This is, obviously, the most mature choice. The comments that say things along these lines: “wtf dawg??? you should just accept that people are going to like the same stuff as you and move on! people like stuff, gawd!!!”
I would venture to say that the people who take this moral high road are also the same people who just now got into it.
I would also venture to say that these people are probably younger than myself or Mr. Peacock (who looks to be about my age. mid/late 30’s. I talked to him at D*C about his Akira collection, which is awesome). They grew up recently, probably graduated high school in the last 5 years or so, and thus were raised in a more accepting world than I was. Today’s high school, despite the bullying we all hear about on the news, seems to be a cakewalk for kids these days.
Why? Because we live in a culture of acceptance.
The people who have the luxury to say, “accept that now everyone else is just like you” were accepted in high school, middle school, and everywhere else they have ever been.
This is, of course, a good thing. I don’t want my fellow geeks, punks, or whatevers to be bullied.
I’m just saying that this laissez-faire attitude is a result of someone who has never had a wedgie because their dice bag fell out of their backpack.
The bitterness and anger come into play when “geeks” see the same people who once gave us wedgies, now suddenly proclaiming that they were really geeks inside all along… and to the untrained eye, no one can tell the difference between them and the “real” geeks (whatever that is).
They didn’t want the geeks in their clique, but now they are forcing their way into the geek world… and getting the boyfriends and girlfriends that the o.g. geeks should be getting.
Allow me to quote a couple of my friends:
“If you were into that shit at my high school, you got a wedgie!”
Believe it or not, kids, but the stuff you see in movies like “Revenge of the Nerds” actually happened. Maybe it’s because I grew up in the Deep South, but at my high school, if you were into DnD, Tolkien, skateboarding, etc., you were not popular with anyone except your own group of friends… and do not let yourself get caught out without them.
This is the root cause of the “us versus them” attitude that is prevalent among older geeks/punks/miscellaneous other outsiders. It is the cause of much bitterness, in me and in people like me, the magnitude of which I didn’t even realize until I started typing out this blog post.
“It’s too easy for kids to be cool these days.”
The underlying message of this quote is that you can no longer trust your instincts, and this, my friends, is the main problem I think most of us have with new people coming into our club (whatever that club may be).
Whereas before, when you met someone who had similar interests as you, you were immediately friends. Now, you may meet someone who is into old episodes of Dr. Who or Frank Miller comics, and they are a total asshole and think that you are too fat, old, poor,or ugly to be their friend.
Used to, when you met someone with similar interests, it said a lot about their character because they had to seek it out. I can vividly remember having to order a copy of Watchmen because my local comic book shop didn’t carry it. If someone was interested enough to do that, it usually meant that you could assume a lot of other things about them also. The most obvious being that they clearly really liked this music, or this obscure sci-fi show, or whatever.
The same goes for records or anything else. Nowadays, anyone with a vague interest in the subject can get on the internet and, in a few hours or less, be an expert… and also a total asshat.
With anything, the more people that get involved, the less special it becomes, and there is no arguing that point.
And, more importantly, we are no longer recognized as the special little flower that we are.
So where do we go, my confused brothers and sisters? Do we wait it out and hope that the assholes eventually disappear? Do we revel in the fact that we are finally getting our due?
To go back to the mid/late 90’s, my friends and I dove deeper into the rabbit hole, down to a spot where we thought pop culture would never catch us. Unfortunately, it did, of course. It wasn’t long before we were ferreted out and forced deeper. I think this is why most of the people I grew up with are now into black metal and stuff like that (and could be an explanation for any sort of “extreme” culture. the need to prove that you are different than everyone else can be powerful). The closer pop culture gets, the more extreme people feel like they have to be to escape it and stay different.
That solution doesn’t work. You will find yourself constantly running from pop culture, but you will never escape it and will only become more and more bitter, the older you get. Chasing the dragon and whatnot.
So what are we to do? Who are we, really?
I think the first step toward recovery and stability in our minds (whatever your definition of that may be) is to recognize that yes, you are a target market. You are the product. I’ve said this numerous times on this blog, but the people who made geek culture as huge as it is today know what they are doing.
When horror flicks and remakes got huge a few years ago, it didn’t take me long to figure out that the studios had my number… big time. They know that fans cannot help themselves. “Halloween” remake? Sure, it will suck, but there’s no fracking way a big horror fan can stop themselves from seeing it.
Face it, we have no self control when it comes to our passions.
Which brings me to my next point:
Who are we? As a “geek”, are we defined by that word? Do we feel a need to like Dr. Who or Eureka just because we think that someone who identifies themselves as a “geek” should like it? I’ve said before that I do not consider myself a geek, just a normal person with some eccentric interests.
Why? For one, I feel like the undiluted true geeks are still out there… and are probably completely oblivious to the fact that they are geeks or that pop culture and geek culture are now one and the same. Again, the true geek is somewhere in a basement obsessing over MS DOS while we don Naruto costumes and make Dragon*Con playlists.
In other words, are we people or are we just the sum of all our interests?
Do we have free will, or are we a slave to our own identity that we have made up in our heads?
To sum up this rambling in a few easy-to-read points,
1. No matter what you are into, there was someone there first, without whom it would not exist.
2. No matter what you are into, if it is fun and cool, it will become huge at some point.
3. The easiest way around this existential quandary is to just not care and be yourself, no matter if it is traditionally considered geek (or whatever) or not. As an adult, I don’t care that geek culture is huge now, because I can’t identify with half of it anyway, but I can also understand where a person would be coming from if they were mad.
This is continued from the last post about making a Dragon*Con playlist.
As said before, I would really like to get this playlist up to 5 hours, so that it will last the entire distance. To this end, I would appreciate any suggestions for songs that may make a good addition to this list.
Some of these tunes are, to be honest, kinda grasping at straws, but when you need the playlist to last 5 hours, and you want as little “filler” as possible, it becomes a matter of, “Do I want this song, whose subject matter may be more appropriate, or do I want this song, which I actually really like, but which may only be connected in my head, and even then, by a thread????”
I have, most times, chosen the song that I actually like and that rocks, rather than a song that I don’t like but fits the theme better.
And I haven’t even touched my entire Rhapsody catalog yet! But that may take some serious “separating the wheat from the chaff” time, which I have not yet been willing to partake in.
11. Jailbreak ~ Thin Lizzy
One trick of playlist-making, which my cousin introduced me to, is to whet the appetite of your audience with a song by an artist whom they expect to hear more of. As in, you play Billie Jean because, in their minds, the audience really wants to hear Thriller… then you hit em with Thriller and they freak out! This song is a good bro-down song about a group of guys breaking out of jail and busting heads (of course).
The Thin Lizzy song you really want to hear for your “boy’s weekend out” is, of course, “The Boys Are Back in Town”. This is its appetizer.
12. Castlevania Theme ~ Nintendo (?), Konami (?)
I downloaded this from the internet for my Halloween mix, but it fits here, for sure. This song is actually pretty groovy. In my college days, I was briefly in a band that was trying to recreate the 8-bit Nintendo sound. That was like 20 years ago. We should’ve stuck with it, because now we’d be rich. A friend of mine commented, “This shit sounds like a bunch of drunk Transformers!” I nearly shit when he said that.
13. Prisoner of Mars ~ Stereolab
Mars and stuff. Also, a short film by Kenneth Anger that may make you feel like you ate some bad acid.
14. Mirror, Mirror ~ Blind Guardian
Mine, and many others, favorite Blind Guardian tune. Also from the “Nightfall on Middle-Earth” album. I have referenced this song dozens of times in this blog, as it also appears on my workout playlist.
15. Mammal ~ They Might Be Giants
TMBG has tons of songs about science. In fact, they have entire albums dedicated to the subject. This is one of my favorite TMBG songs, and is a dedication to the Dragon*Con Science Track.
16. Vampires ~ Pet Shop Boys
If you’ve never heard this song, I would encourage you to look it up, as it sounds like the way that the atrium in the Marriott Marquis looks. Like I can just picture all my fellow Dragon*Con weirdos lurking about in the atrium when I hear this song. Plus it is about Vampires, and D*C will be hosting the cast of something called “the Vampire Diaries”. I have no clue what that is and would like to keep it that way.
17. Legends of Azeroth (World of Warcraft Main Title) ~ Tracy Bush
Another video game theme, WoW has been a bonding agent for me and my friends at various points in my life. Though I no longer play WoW, it will always hold a special place in my heart… and you never know when I might be back in Azeroth. No one gets out alive.
18. Winter’s Wolves ~ the Sword
Lots of metalheads do some serious hating on The Sword. From what I have gathered, it is mostly because they had a song on Guitar Hero. Thus they are clearly sell outs.
I don’t really care about that, but I know these lyrics are totally fitfordragoncon:
“Can’t you see what you have wrought here? Bloody battles will be fought here
May the mountains rise against you May the forests block your path May your axes chip and shatter And know it is my wrath
I would mount your head on bloody spears Outside your palace gates And watch as crows pick out your eyes And your cities laid to waste
Can’t you see what you have wrought here? A curse to you and all your kin Bloody battles will be fought here Await your doom at empires end
May the rivers rush to drown you May the earth swallow your hosts May the winter’s wolves surround you And rip the life from your throats”
19. The Battle of Evermore ~ Led Zeppelin
I don’t know how I forgot about Led Zeppelin, with all their cryptic references to Tolkien, but I did. Added this song today, 8/2/12.
20. Stonehenge ~ Spinal Tap
Many thanks to my friend Lauren for reminding me of this gem. Fits in perfect with Circulus and the other pseudo-Renn Faire stuff.
21. Lord of the Rings ~ Blind Guardian
Another Tolkien song from Blind Guardian. No brainer.
22. Heavy Metal ~ Sammy Hagar
Theme song from the movie of the same name, heavily referenced by South Park in that one episode. The movie comes from the magazines, of course, which are awesome.
23. Ramble On ~ Led Zeppelin
Gollum. Mordor. Days of old when magic filled the air.
Possibly my favorite Led Zeppelin song, and it helps that it fits the theme.
24. Tres Brujas ~ the Sword
Three witches. I should probably space these Sword songs out a bit more, and I may get to that eventually, but for now they make a Blind Guardian sandwich.
From their concept album “Warp Riders”. Here’s what the band said about it:
This is what you’d technically call a ‘concept album,’ though I’d describe it as more of a soundtrack to a story I came up with. All the songs are about aspects of the story, but they don’t cover every detail from beginning to end. It’s a science fiction story, and it deals heavily with themes of light and dark and perceptions of time. One of the main settings is a planet, which has experienced tidal locking, creating a side of perpetual day and a side of perpetual night. The reason for creating a narrative to base the songs around was essentially to provide interesting and varied lyrical subject matter with a core theme to tie it all together.
25. My Body is Made of Sunlight ~ Circulus
This is what you would hear if you went to a Renaissance Faire and ate a bunch of acid (which seems to be a recurring theme for some reason). Don’t believe me? Check this out:
26. The Time Warp ~ Rocky Horror Cast
Last time we were at Dragon*Con, my D*C buddy and I drunkenly stumbled into a performance of Rocky Horror at like 3 in the morning. It was opportune that it was just before the Time Warp started, as we did the Time Warp… sort of. I am sure that we made quite a show for the people at the show, who may or may not have been there as it was too dark, and I was too drunk, to see anyone.
27. Lost in Space ~ Kool Keith
This is from Kool Keith’s sci-fi album “Black Elvis/Lost in Space”. Probably the only sci-fi concept album ever made by a hip hop artist.
28. Dancin’ Across the USA ~ Lindsey Buckingham
Any song from National Lampoon’s Vacation qualifies as a road trip song. I thought this was the Statler Brothers for forever.
29. Teenagers from Mars ~ the Misfits
Last time I was at D*C, I met Tom Savini and got his autograph. There are definitely some horror fans, and panels, at Dragon*Con, but it is a very small percentage of the attendees. So this song is for that very small contingent of my fellow conventioneers.
Also, I like to think this is what some innocent old person would think if he accidentally wandered into one of the host hotels during Dragon*Con.
30. On the Mountain at Dawn ~ OM
At nearly 20 minutes long, this epic masterpiece from doomy drone experts OM is the soundtrack for me when I play Warhammer 40k (that’s the tabletop game). You can just picture some dark sci-fi doin’s going down while this song is playing.
31. Graceland ~ Paul Simon
Just before I got out of college, my roommate and I took a roadtrip to Graceland in Memphis. This was our soundtrack, which cemented this song forever in my mind as a quintessential road trip song.
32. Martian Hop ~ the Ran-Dells
One of my absolute favorite songs on the playlist, this song is about martians who throw a dance for a bunch of humans. This song is so poppy it might make your teeth hurt.
33. Why Does the Sun Shine? ~ They Might Be Giants
Another science song from TMBG. I don’t love it the way I do Mammal, but there’s something endearing about the part where they talk about all the metals that are gasses on the surface of the sun.
34. Ghostbusters ~ Ray Parker, Jr.
Possibly my favorite movie of all time, there are tons of amateur ghostbusters at Dragon*Con. Last time I even saw Ecto-1 cruising the perimeter.
35. Legend of Zelda Suite ~ London Philharmonic
I have long considered the original Legend of Zelda to be the greatest video game of all time. The first time I heard this version of the theme, I nearly got all misty eyed.
36. Dragonaut ~ Sleep
Slow metal about riding dragons. Hence the name.
37. To Take the Black ~ the Sword
The Sword shows up again, this time with a tune based on George RR Martin’s “A Song of Ice & Fire” books.
38. Ride the Dragon ~ Manowar
Fast metal about riding dragons. Hence the name.
39. Wild Wild Life ~ Talking Heads
This is just a party song, but it fits because you are partying at Dragon*Con with people in some wild costumes.
40. She Blinded Me With Science ~ Thomas Dolby
The coup de grace of science songs. This one is almost too easy.
41. Intergalactic ~ Beastie Boys
Besides the fact that it’s a great song, and about sci-fi, the Futurama connection plants this one on the list with no reservations.
42. Revenge of the Nerds ~ the Rubinoos
This is the theme song from the movie. I wanted to find the Voodoo Glow Skulls song from back in the day, but it talks about killing people and stuff, so maybe that’s why I can’t find it. It was also on a tiny record label, which might have something to do with it.
Anyway, check out the foresight of the Rubinoos in this chorus:
So go ahead, put us down One of these days we will turn it around Won’t be long, mark my words Time has come for Revenge of the nerds! Revenge of the nerds Revenge of the nerds So if they call you a dork, a spazz or a geek Stand up and be proud, don’t be meek Beautiful people, haven’t you heard? The joke’s on you, it’s revenge of the nerds
We are in the eye of the storm of the revenge of the nerds right now. Nerd/geek culture is absolutely at its zenith and the world is our oyster.
I think this movie was my first glimpse of “bush”.
43. Stargazer ~ Rainbow
I wanted to include at least one song by Ronnie James Dio, but chose his band Rainbow as his representation instead of the eponymously named “Dio”.
All you need is this, the cover of the album that this song is on:
a fist, holding a rock n roll rainbow that is going between two castles.
44. the Mollusk ~ Ween
As evidenced in my post on swimming, I love this album. This one is one of the straw-graspers, but I figured it had enough stuff about mollusk biology to vaguely fall into the “science” category.
45. Forever My Queen ~ Pentagram
Another straw-grasper, this song is bad effin ass. Something about kings and queens, but who gives a crap when the song is so rockin.
46. Barbarian ~ Electric Wizard
Heavy as an elephant standing on top of a cement truck, this song is about none other than Conan himself, the Barbarian and ex-costume dream of myself. I may need to include a couple songs by the band Conan, just for good measure.
47. the Alchemist ~ Witchcraft
I don’t know what “alchemy” is exactly, but somehow it is always associated with evil dudes in fantasy. I think alchemists were responsible for figuring out how to turn base metals into gold. They also mixed health and stamina potions.
This song is about one of them.
48. Dovahkiin (the Dragonborn Comes) ~ Malukah
A song played in many of the pubs and taverns around Skyrim, this cover of it by a girl on youtube is freakin awesome, especially when coupled with the original Skyrim live-action trailer, as seen here:
49. White & Nerdy ~ Weird Al Yankovic
Including a Weird Al song was a given, but which one? The first time I used Ventrilo and played WoW, one of the first things I heard was one of my friends singing the original version of this song, which I thought was hilarious. I nearly included the original, but killed two birds by knocking out a Weird Al song and “Ridin'” in one shot.
50. I’m Seein’ Robots ~ Kool Keith
Another sci-fi hip-hop song by Kool Keith. This is about how everyone is really a robot, kinda like how Dawn of the Dead is about how everyone is really a zombie anyway.
51. Walk on the Wild Side ~ Lou Reed
A song about partying with weirdos, which is what Dragon*Con is all about. Or can be. I included this one because my Dragon*Con buddy is a big Lou Reed and Velvet Underground fan.
52. Blitzkrieg Bop ~ the Ramones
A road trip song. Mostly because of its infamous chorus, but also because it is featured in National Lampoon’s Vacation.
53. See the Constellation ~ They Might Be Giants
Yet another science song by TMBG. Great tune from the great album “Apollo 18”.
54. Weekend ~ Wet Willy
I think Wet Willy is from somewhere around here, and I grew up hearing this song on the radio every Friday, so it is forever in my brain as the ultimate weekend song.
55. I’d Much Rather Be With the Boys ~ Reigning Sound
Garage rock kings Reigning Sound sneak in with this song about hanging out with the guys, instead of “girls like you”.
56. Hair of the Dog ~ Nazareth
Totally badass song about kicking someone’s ass. Goes out to the asshole in the Phantom of the Opera costume from a couple years ago at Dragon*Con.
57. the Boys Are Back in Town ~ Thin Lizzy
This one is almost too obvious. I’m almost too embarassed to have it on here.
Almost.
58. Holiday Road ~ Lindsey Buckingham
The greatest road trip song of all time. By miles. Thousands of them.
59. Star Wars Theme / Cantina Band Disco ~ MECO
In college, my roommate and I would wake up and play this record every day. If you’ve never heard it, here it is via youtube:
Apparently it was a huge hit.
60. French Castle ~ Monty Python
I took the step of including a “talking” track on here, which is my favorite part of Monty Python & the Holy Grail. Fake French accents are endlessly hilarious to me, but the line “I told him we already got one” destroys me.
Even the Simpsons acknowledged that Monty Python stuff is nerdy (remember when Homer went to college?).
61. The Touch ~ Stan Bush
The main song from the only Transformers movie that I will ever like or acknowledge. Anyone guy my age will completely lose his mind when he hears this song.
62. Immigrant Song ~ Led Zeppelin
If this song doesn’t fit in with the songs about barbarians and dragons, I don’t know what does. Check out a snippet of the lyrics to this paradigm of rock:
“Come from the land of the ice and snow, From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow. The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands, To fight the horde, singing and crying: Valhalla, I am coming!”
One of the heaviest Zeppelin songs, and one of the reasons Led Zeppelin is pointed to as one of the forefathers of modern metal. Like Auto always says: “Zeppelin Roolz!”
63. Georgia On My Mind ~ Ray Charles
Slow, but great tune. A true classic. Too cheesy? Mmmmmaybe. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not a great song. Dragon*Con is in Georgia. Ray Charles is the shit.
If you have ever seen the movie, or read the book, “Hi Fidelity”, you know that making a playlist is serious business.
If you are my age, you made mixtapes (though I think some people these days are going back to making mixtapes). If you are slightly younger than me, you made mix cds. But nowadays we have the technology to put as many songs as we want on a “playlist”, thereby ending any sort of interruptions to our disc jockeying genius.
Despite my occasional Luddite tendencies, I will freely admit, here and now, that playlists are better. Not only can you put a nearly-infinite number of songs on a playlist, but the typical drag-n-drop technique appeals to the lazy dj that lurks inside of me.
The playlist is, basically, your own clear channel radio station, which strokes the part of my ego that wants to share my music tastes with the unwashed masses.
Plus, if you’re driving in a car, you can’t very well listen to records, and even if you came up with a way to do that, it would be a bit impractical to change the record after every song.
But I’m sure I don’t need to convince the readers of this blog of any of that.
There are some basic rules of a playlist, for me. These may duplicate some of the Hi Fidelity stuff, but I can’t remember. If so, please forgive me, I’m not trying to plagiarize, only reinforce the universal ideals of the almighty playlist/mixtape.
1. In like a lion, out like a lamb.
This rule means that my playlists will almost always start out rockin, but will almost always end with a slow or sad song. One that applies to the topic at hand, of course.
2. A playlist should be like a batting order.
This, for the most part, only applies to the first 4 songs. You want a strong hitter out first, to set the tone. Then a few more strong hitters to get on base, but then the fourth song bats “clean up”, which is usually your heavy hitter, to bring all the guys on base home. This also usually signals a change, with the 5th batter being something completely different, like a bunt. Although this can change, depending on the overall length of the playlist (the longer the playlist, the longer it may take to make a transition).
Also like a batting order, the playlist should ebb and flow, with both high points and low points along the way, to keep the audience interested. The heavy hitters should be spread out, in order to keep rounding up the stragglers who may be stranded on second base with no one on first of third.
I shouldn’t have to mention that the flow of the songs should be always kept in mind, so that there aren’t too many jarring transitions. Once again, if Babe Ruth hits a solo homerun, it is only one run, but if he hits a grand slam, that racks up four points.
3. A playlist is about more than just the obvious.
Any jackanapes can google “songs about Halloween” or “songs about comic books”. A good playlist, to me, encompasses all aspects of the event at hand. For instance, my “summer” playlist isn’t just Beach Boys and Jimmy Buffett, it’s songs that, I feel, really capture the feeling of summer. It’s surf songs, of course, but they are right next to songs that I can picture a bunch of middle-aged white people grooving to under tiki torches on the beach at some Sandals resort somewhere (like Deacon Blues by Steely Dan). Possibly sneaking off to do a little blow, or make some dirty beach love. Yacht Rock and whatnot.
Music is about nothing if it isn’t about feelings, and a good playlist makes you feel every corner of the topic.
Like me, a lot of you will be traveling to Dragon*Con (it’s about a five hour drive for me, which is almost to my limit as to how far I would drive for a Con, even one so majestic as D*C). Traveling goes a lot better if you have a friend to chat with (check), and if you have some good traveling tunes (also check). Hence, the Dragon*Con playlist, which I would eventually like to get up to 5 hours. That is a hint that all recommendations for my playlist would be appreciated.
To stay in tune with rule #3 listed above, my Dragon*Con playlist includes the following topics:
– metal songs about sword and sorcery
– bro-down songs, as this is a guys-only trip, sans wives/girlfriends/etc.
– songs about comic books and other nerdy shit (like science)
– road trip songs. This topic can be a bit esoteric, as almost anything could be a road trip song.
Without further ado, here are the first ten songs of the playlist, in order, with a brief explanation of the how’s and why’s. The rest of the playlist will be coming soon, of course.
1. To Magic Horizons ~ Luca Turilli
2. Black Dragon ~ Luca Turilli
These kind of count as one song, to me. To Magic Horizons is a long intro to the song Black Dragon off of Luca Turilli’s album “King of the Nordic Twilight”. Luca Turilli is the man behind, possibly, the nerdiest metal band of all time: Rhapsody (or “Rhapsody of Fire”). Epic power metal, of course. With a refrain of “Black Draaagooon Flyyyyyy”, this made it to the opening song of this playlist. Quite a lofty feat.
3. Do You Wanna Date My Avatar ~ the Guild (Felicia Day and Co.)
If you play mmo’s (which I play almost exclusively nowadays, though I have moved on from WoW to Warhammer Online) and have not watched The Guild, then I would recommend you check it out. Every episode is available on youtube HERE. Plus, the whole cast will be at Dragon*Con, including current geek-queen Felicia Day who basically is the Guild and, for some reason, seems to be kind of controversial in some circles.
5. Are You Alive?/Battlestar Galactica Main Title ~ Richard Gibbs
BSG is one of the main reasons I am going to Dragon*Con. Possibly my favorite sci-fi show of all frackin times. Like the Luca Turilli tunes, I put these together as the first one is really short and leads into this one. Number 4 is the one most people will recognize, as it is played on the blu ray menus and stuff (so if you’re like me and have fallen asleep while watching the BSG discs, you’ve heard #4 in your sleep about a gajillion times).
6. Valhall Awaits Me ~ Amon Amarth
The true number four, and clean-up batter for the playlist thus far, Valhall Awaits Me is my current mmo theme song. Warhammer Online has a very Nordic look to it that I really like a lot, and this song about vikings dying in glorious battle gets me pumped to wade into the fray, blindly swinging my axe and, usually, dying within about 5 seconds (WAR is heavy on the large pvp battles).
7. Nightfall ~ Blind Guardian
Definitely my favorite power metal band, Blind Guardian has numerous songs based on the works of JRR Tolkien, including an entire album based on the Silmarillion called “Nightfall in Middle-Earth”, which is where this song is from. “Never trust the Northern Winds! Never turn your back on friends!!!” Cheesy as eff, but screw it, Dragon*Con is a time when you can revel in your own cheesiness.
8. Checkmate ~ Cypress Hill
Ummmm. This one is an inside joke. There’s no reason it should be included on a Dragon*Con playlist otherwise. I’m sure you have some inside songs with your pals that you could put here instead.
9. Vacation ~ the Go-Go’s
Road trip song. This one is just so happy, it’s a natural fit for any holiday voyage.
10. Spiderman ~ the Ramones
Of course. I had a choice between the original version and this one and I chose this one just because I love the Ramones so much. It’s also a sly tribute to a friend of mine who passed away recently who was the biggest Ramones fan I have ever known. This version is great, though.
Those are the first ten. Stay tuned for the rest (the entire playlist is at 55 songs right now), and feel free to recommend any tunes you may feel would be appropriate.
All of these songs are probably available on itunes if you don’t have them already, or you can just pirate the shit out of them, I don’t care.
Oh, and before I forget, I made a computer picture for the playlist. I google-imaged “rock n roll dragon” and nothing came up, so I made my own:
Rock n Roll Dragon washes away your gray day with the mystical power of a rock n roll rainbow.
That’s supposed to be a Jackson Warlock guitar, which is what I’m pretty sure a dragon would play. Dragon bands aren’t allowed in small clubs anymore. Thanks, Great White. assholes.
Today I wanted to post something about fitnessing, which I have not done in awhile.
In particular, swimming. A very summertime activity enjoyed by millions who are not connected at the short hairs to Skyrim or World of Warcraft.
Swimming is also an activity that is fun, for most people. At least, I think it is supposed to be.
Growing up, I was forced to learn to swim. There was a lake across the street, a river at the end of my road, and depending on which one you wanted to go to, a beach within 30 minutes or an hour.
Swimming was a necessity for survival. Alligators are not going to outrun themselves.
I learned to swim early, but it was all underwater swimming. I am under the impression that kids who learned to swim at a country club (instead of in the river, competing with cottonmouths) learned to swim “above” the water, like true mini-olympians.
I have never been good at this sort of swimming.
While the other kids looked like graceful like Michael Phelps, I looked gangly and awkward like Mr. Toad. In fact, my full-body natural state of swimming is very toadlike, which is amusing now that I am old and could probably pass for a fat Michigan J. Frog. If Michigan were far less dapper. And talented.
It is a sad day when you realize that you are probably less desirable than a cartoon frog.
In the films, when you see the rich folk swimming laps in their pools, they are backstroking, or some other nimble bourgeois swim method, lazily and calmly back and forth in their marble-lined outdoor bathtub. If someone were to stumble upon me “swimming laps” in my backyard cement pond, they would probably infer that some great beast had somehow stumbled out of the mesozoic era and into a backyard pool in the suburbs. Perhaps a wooly mammoth… who can’t swim. Like Snuffleupagus.
To that end (so you don’t get the two confused):
For instructional and educational purposes, for my Brethren, I have made a moving picture demonstrating what it looks like to swim in a pool. Because I know none of you have ever seen it.
Observe my toadlike form in action:
Spoiler Alert:I have spared you any glimpses of my nearly-naked, hirsute, form blithely and gracefully gliding through the waves like a mermaid’s wet (dry?) dream.
Total chaos, right? That’s why it is called exercise.
And nevermind the leaves in the pool. They clearly do not bother this mastodon. Our pool is outside, under a tree, and we don’t have a pool boy. We’re not Scrooge McDuck or Richie Rich or anything.
Fit for Dragon*Con 